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Joined: Sep 2009
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I back up CP <3 :]

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Jellyfish
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I'm sorry to hear this. My best friend just announced she is pregnant. I was a little shocked, but I figured it was coming eventually. Another good friend of mine has a 5 year old and while I didn't see much of her during the first few years of her daughter's life, things have gotten better! We get together and still have fun and the conversations are always well rounded. I wanted to say this because there is HOPE, but it's all dependent on how your friend will handle it. I can't dream of the idea of turning my back on a job I've worked so hard for! What a nightmare. Perhaps she will be able to strive for it again in the future, but what a double-standard that she has to give up her job. I understand your queasiness, truly do. I tend to get this fear with all my friend marrying and wanting to start families that this big fat target will be on my back and that I'll feel left behind. I know it's not true but it's damn hard. Hang in there!


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Ok, I know this forum is for those who are childfree but I have to say this: this woman is your friend right? She just so happens to be pregnant. For some woman it is a dream fulfilled or a calling.. For some it is is the last thing they wished for but it happens anyway. I guess my point is that at the end of the day she is your friend and like many relationships, this friendship, if you wish to keep it, will take work on both of your parts. You having the heeby keebies probably doesnt help her feelings about her pregnancy and her constatly talking about it probably doesnt help you. But you need to come to terms with the fact that this is her chosen path and perhaps she needs to be more aware of the fact that is it not yours.. Just a thought..

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I hope this works out for you, and if it does, please let us all know how you did it. I've "lost" several friends due to motherhood. There's nothing wrong with motherhood, or being childfree, but it's like living on 2 different planets. Hopefully you two can have a great long-distance relationship.

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I have lost most of my friends to motherhood over the years. There are a small handful that I can still relate to, but these are the rare ones that don't make their entire lives tied up in childrearing.

It's as painful as a breakup, in many ways. They are having in affair, in a real sense, with their baby, and don't love you they way they used to. frown

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