BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids anyone ever wonder this about working moms?

At the time when I chose to stay at home, my husband's income was enough that we could manage it. Plus having a son with Asperger's really made it almost a necessity for me to be a SAHM. I was always getting called away from work to deal with emergencies - and that was not fair to my workplace.

Now, however, my son is 18 and the economy is making it necessary for me to go back into the workforce and like Crocus said, I am having a very hard time of it. I haven't worked in 7 years. My greatest hope is that one of my 2 children's books that I am almost done with gets picked up quickly (hahaha - I am really not that naive - just hopeful).

In the meantime we are just being really careful with our money!

I think it's important to not judge the tough decisions another woman has to make for her family. Unsupportive comments like "why would you have children if you're going to let someone else raise them?" only widens the divide between the "working mom" and "stay at home mom" camps, and just reinforces the culture in America of "us" vs "them" and who is raising their kids better. We need to support each other. There is no one simple answer (even though I lean towards avoiding the whole issue altogether by remaining childfree).

I definately understand all a woman loving her job and not wanting to leave it. I love what I do. I just couldn't help but notice that out of all of my friends...the ones with working mom's got into the most "situations" i.e. teen pregnancy, drinking etc. Whereas, I could get a way with nothing as a kid...lol. In addition it just seems like a miserable lifestyle to me. Wake up get kids ready get yourself ready, drop off kids, work, pick kids up, go home, cook, clean, kids homework, UGH. NO WONDER WHY HALF OF AMERICA IS ON ANTI DEPRESSANTS! The idea of motherhood sounds awful to me, but add a 40 hr workweek (even if you love your job) and that, that sounds like hell on earth....I think it's probably goo for a woman to work part time. I mean, these are just my opinions. I also come from a family where it's highly encouraged that women stay home with their kids.

[quote=misstalia]I definately understand all a woman loving her job and not wanting to leave it. I love what I do. I just couldn't help but notice that out of all of my friends...the ones with working mom's got into the most "situations" i.e. teen pregnancy, drinking etc. Whereas, I could get a way with nothing as a kid...lol. In addition it just seems like a miserable lifestyle to me. Wake up get kids ready get yourself ready, drop off kids, work, pick kids up, go home, cook, clean, kids homework, UGH. NO WONDER WHY HALF OF AMERICA IS ON ANTI DEPRESSANTS! The idea of motherhood sounds awful to me, but add a 40 hr workweek (even if you love your job) and that, that sounds like hell on earth....I think it's probably goo for a woman to work part time. I mean, these are just my opinions. I also come from a family where it's highly encouraged that women stay home with their kids. [/quote] Umm hate to break it to you, but I knew a ton of kids who had a Mum at home and still got into tons of trouble. 90% of my friends had both parents working and most of us now have University degrees and great jobs. Neither one of my parents stayed home (my Mum was back to work 6 months or less after have both my brother and me), and I was (for the most part) a daycare kid (and day-home kid). I now have a successful career as an Engineer, a graduate degree, husband and great life. I have to honestly say that your comments offended me and have no bearing on whether or not someone will be on anti-depressants. Maybe I'm the exception, but are all my friends exceptions too? Maybe it's because I'm from Canada and we're "different" up here - but I really don't think so. To each their own, but know there is [b]no conclusive evidence[/b] to say that having a parent at home will reduce teen pregnancy, drug & alcohol abuse, or depression later in life. If you like I can provide links to those studies as well. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't been doing their research.

Both my mother and grandmother worked all their lives, and nobody in my family ever had an alcohol problem or a teenage pregnancy. Not even close! I have a son in day care and he is delighted to go there everyday, he has a lot of fun, they do lots of activities.

Actually, I could also say (I cannot back it up, but if people are throwing around their theories I can too, whatever) that children whose mothers work have a bigger respect for women as intellectual beings, or that their sons don't grow up to be chauvinist pigs who expect women to give up everything for them.

It is the 21st century and I am hearing people say you should not have a job if you have children. Or rather, women should not have a job if they have children!

Personally, I would not be able to work and have a kid in daycare because I know I would be constantly thinking and worrying about them, as in, are they ok, are they treated properly, what if they get sick, etc. I would be a wreck! No thank you.

No reason to get offended I think women should raise the kids they have and TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN...and you do not see it as wrong to send kids to day care..no big deal. We're not having a child together...lol. I recently read a report on MSN stating that over 80 percent of working moms in the USA suffer from depression. I'm only saying.. IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME. Also, It probably is different in Canada. I wouldn't know, but it seems as though as a country they have less problems.

My mistake it was AOL:


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Not everyone has the luxury of staying home for whatever reason but whatever the decision, it is the business of that family.


I was a single mom and my youngest carried quite the heavy cross; Autism, ADHD severe and Perthes (a bone disease). Even with his medical issues, I had to support all my children, take care of a home and work full time (and then some) to make ends meet.

In some cases, it is cheaper to have 1 parent stay home with the kids. Sometimes you got to weigh out the costs vs. the pay. Child care expenses,after school programs, gas, etc........

Sorry if I sounded a bit offended, but, I WAS. This is the married no kids forum, so most people posting here have no idea how kids work, and that is OK. A child, let's say, 1 or 2 years old alone with mom the whole day bores himself/herself to death (let alone the SAHM). Kids don't ever stand still and most women are not like Mary Poppins (who, now I come to think of it, was a nanny, not a mom). Going to the nursery (a good one) is a chance to play with other children, socialize and learn a couple of things.

Having a child in day care 10 hours a day, may not be the best thing for anybody. But that is another story.