Jellyroll, I am where you were before, I guess I am lonely and don't want to miss out on the experience of having kids. I don't think it's "bad" reason to want kids- I think most well adjusted moms feel this way! Not lonely like "oh I want someone to love me unconditionally"- that is not healthy.
But that's exactly how I felt. I wanted something or someone to be around. To bond with in a way I couldn't with anyone else. Someone to have with me to do stuff with and my stupid brain thought, "Maybe I should have a baby?".
It was a weird time in my life. I was grieving over the fact that the closest person to me (my brother) had moved to another state and I had difficulties connecting with my husband. I wanted a connection and what stronger connection does one have than with their own child?
This is what I mean by "lonely". Looking for something because you feel something is lacking inside you. It becomes something unhealthy and fortunately I realized that quickly. I later thought, children grow and one day my baby won't be a baby anymore. He/she will one day live their own lives separate from mine and I'll end up feeling that loneliness all over again. I needed to work on me and make myself whole again.
This is a big difference from desiring children. The feelings are not the same.
