BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids dinner party

So, last night I went to a small dinner party at a friend's house. A couple that I vaguely know was also there, and brought their baby. The dinner consisted of all the adults staring at the baby and saying how cute she was. I am not kidding. I sat there, eating and bored to tears. I tried to start conversations, but people trailed off by saying, "Oh! She's smiling! She must smile ALL the time. Look!"

I mean, yeah, the baby was cute, but she was not demanding attention! She wasn't fussy, she was just hanging out....and yet, none of the adults seemed to want to do anything but look at her. How long can you stare at a baby? I know I've complained about this before here, but this happens to me frequently. I am expected to stare at children/babies. Other women do it. They stare and coo and smile and look like they are in love. I stare and then I'm ready to do something else. What am i missing? I mean, It makes me feel bad, like the mother's know that I am not in love with staring at their babies like other women do. And then it makes me feel angry because I'm done with people and their babies! Yet, everytime I turn around, another friend is pregnant. And I know I have to do it all over again. So, I am left feeling exhausted and angry. What a way to live.

I hear ya, I hear ya ! There's nothing more boring - I'd rather watch paint dry. I have experienced this so often and just feel like screaming " let me outa' here!!"

I'm wondering why your friends would invite you as well as the childed couple that you vaguely know. Your friends must know that you aren't interested in babies. Not thinkin', I guess

I can't quite understand this "baby-staring" activity either. When my sister had her first, the entire family were deeply engaged by this rewarding pastime. Except yours truly, of course. I think it's just an excuse for people not to have to think of anything interesting to say.

Cream pie- I would have preferred watching paint dry. THAT would have sparked a conversation! And I think the couple was invited last minute, no big deal. They are neighbors and see each other a lot.

Kalinka- I think you're on to something. insead of thinking of conversation topics, let's just stare at babies!

I don't know how you could stomach it.

I would've left mid-party. Come up with some lame excuse and gotten myself the heck out of there. That's not a dinner party. That's a stare-at-my-baby-and-die-of-boredom party.

All babies are at our family parties but as much as well love them, we don't sit and oogle them to death. Isn't there more going on in their lives that they'd like to talk about?

Next time they invite you, spare yourself the agony and tell them you're washing your hair that night lol.

you are stronger than I. I would have ran for the hills. I dont get how people can do that and hate pretending I think it is cute. I have been in many situations where someone shows a baby pic and then want to "awwww" for 10 minutes. why?

I sympathize (as you know from previous chats) and have been there many times. Just the other day I was chatting with my book club friends about this exact issue, and how when people bring babies into an office setting, literally every woman in the office rushes over to stare at the baby. Whatever this gene is that other women have, I'm missing it.

I just went to a housewarming last night where there were no babies, but several kids about 7 yrs. old. When I arrived, all the kids and parents were sitting around a table and very little adult conversation was possible because the kids were yelling their heads off (or talking in that way 7 yr. old boys do, very loud and interrupting everyone). When I was a kid we would have never gotten away with talking that loud and obnoxiously, interrupting adults, etc. I could see them through the kitchen window as I walked up to the house, and it took all my nerve to still ring the doorbell! I sat there for about an hour while we watched the kids eat (is there anything more disgusting than watching kids eat?...as if I want to eat any chips or crackers that have been mauled by kids) and when they finally went outside, and later upstairs to play, it was still boring, and interrupted every few minutes by someone's kid thumping down the stairs to whine about something.

These people's lives revolve around their kids so much that it's hard to find anything else to talk about. Example subjects: Sally just had the flu, and so did her husband, but they were lucky the kids didn't get it. Work topics came up, but were dwelled upon because generally these people only work because they have to (ie. why talk about work if you don't like it?)

However, I was somewhat glad I made the effort because my friend hosting the party (who has one son) didn't have many of her friends turn up, and it was mostly her husband's friends at the party. She thanked me several times for coming (again when I saw her today) and I know she feels bad that their events always turn into kid-oriented things. Her son is 7 now and I think she's looking forward to more independence as he gets older.

Although generally I would agree with other poster (why bother, save yourself the grief) in this case I think my two hours of annoyance made a big difference to my friend. I share your pain!