BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships am i in a bad relationship????

Ok, so I have been dating this guy for 7 years and he just moved in two months ago. This is the first long term relationship for both of us and the first time he has ever lived out on his own, He is 38 and im 26. Things where going well the first few weeks but then i cought him looking at porn on MY laptop. I talked to him about it and he agreed to stop. well last week i came home to find him looking at more stuff. I am so hurt and upset by this and i dont know what to do. Let me also say that we do not have sex. at all. I have tried and he is just not into it. so i have been sleeping on the couch( in my apt) and he has been sleeping in my/our bed. So im not sure on how to deal with this. should i walk away? I feel like i have so much to give and i get nothing in return. Please help! Any advice would work! I am young and atractive female but i feel put down and like i should cover up with a paper bag!

so you dated for 7 years and never had sex? Or is this recent to you moving in with eachother?

I am wondering the same thing as Jane.

That being said, this is what I am reading.

You dated 7 years.
You moved in together 2 months ago.
He has never lived on his own before, despite being 38......
You have caught him looking at porn, but you don't have sex.

YOU are sleeping on the couch in YOUR apartment.

This does not seem normal. Maybe he is scared to be living as an adult? To answer your question, looking from the outside, yes, it does appear to be a bad relationship and I would ask him to move out unless he wants to discuss these issues and change.

It's highly unlikely at 38 years old he's going to change his ways. Obviously he is the one with a "problem." So, my advice to you, in my Brooklyn accent is: "Getridofdabum." I hope all works out for you.

Dump him, he sounds like a freak lol

This doesn't sound good. He's gone against your wishes in watching porn on your laptop. You don't have a physical relationship though he's quite happy to watch other people getting it on, it seems. You're sleeping on the couch, as if you were a guest in your own home.

In my experience, guys of that age don't change easily. Can you imagine the situation getting better? If not, then it's simple. Out he goes.

I have to agree with everyone here: something does not add up in this relationship. I hope you can find the strength to let him go, and find someone who is capable of sharing real love with you.

Jane- We used to have sex but its been years. And i have tryed to talk to him and he gets mad and walks away. I changed the password on my lap top so he cant use it when im not here. and He is also seeing a counseler (for 4 years at 100 every 2 weeks) but its not really helping. i feel like im going crazy. Im afraid what will happen if i ask him to leave. His bestfriend emailed me from iraq to tell me i had my chance to get out and now im stuck! that cant be good news and This man knows my BF for alot longer then me.

- Despite the lack of sex, the porn and breach of trust, the issues that are not getting better with the counselor...do you love this man?
- Do you think the relationship is all worth it?
- Do you think the situation can get better?

If you answer with a no any of the questions...

Hi,

Yes, your with an impotent man that can only get off to porno.

I'd let him go back to his Mother as men that age rarely change. You should be in your own bed as it is your place. You would be happier alone then with a man that makes you feel bad about yourself.

Kick him to the curb.