BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Chicken for a husband?

To make a long story short, my husband found out in 2005 that he had a 3 year old (from a one night stand according to him), I at the time had been working full time in an office. After several accusations from the mother to make him go away he was awarded sole custody in May 2008, giving mother very liberal visitation. My husband is a chicken, he will not say or do anything I feel he should such as getting eye doctor information from the mother,(while on vacation this summer mother took child for new glasses and never sent them or any information home). He gets to spend little time with his daughter (he works 10 hr shifts) as she visits her mother 3 weekends a mo. and the time he is home I am the one doing things with and for her. I am felling that I am just the babysitter, housekeeper... OK slave. I thought I could do this but maybe I was wrong. I am so tired of being last in line for everything, I take care of his daughter, and for what? I get little if any affection from him or his daughter. Am I really just no one in all this? I some times feel like I am the poop that the our dogs leave out side. I have to remind him of things he has to do like get a letter together regarding doctor names/address, school information, CCD classes (not yet sent). When it come to her paying child support what is that? he drags his feet, but yet he complains to me, than asks me if I can work? of course I can but, who will pay for and take care of his daughter? guess who ME. Why should I work if all I am going to do is take my check and pay a babysitter? Things are just not adding up. How do I handle this? I thought about going for counseling but do I need it and what for? I thought about getting job but than I still have to come home and do all the other stuff. I thought about leaving but first I need to get a job and save not give it to a babysitter. Just need to vent, not sure where to go or who to talk to.

I just wanted to share with you that I totally understand feeling last. I have a 6 yr old stepdaughter and I'm always last. She get everything and I can't even get 15min, alone with my boyfriend. I almost feel no exsistent. I go to counseling and I have a really hard time sharing my feelings, but if you feel a certain way you need to express it. Counseling isn't a bad thing, it helps me release the anger and feelings of lonliness, it could possibly help you. Oh....and I wouldn't go back to work, it's way worse, been there done that. You get home tierd and then you have to crunch all the slavework into a couple of hours, it gets pretty nasty. I would stay home.