BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Do those that are childfree dislike children?

Please dont get me wrong this is certainly not a why wont you have chikdren you are all selfish post. Really its not. My husband and I have decided for many reasons not to have children. Not because we cant afford too either. But if we had them we couldnt afford other things like travelling etc. The thing is, we both like kids (i work with special needs kids) and he always wanted kids, although he now realises that this was more of an expectation than a want. We both feel broody though. I want kids but i dont want them. And i dont want them for fairly selfless reasons. Like the world is going to heck in a handbasket and there is no way i want to subject a child to that, over population etc. Is there any one else who feels this way? I know a lot of child free couples never actually wanted kids but was this a hard decision for anyone that actually wanted them but decided for what ever reasons (if you feel like sharing please do) decided not to have them? I hope this post does not go against any forum rules. Almost every single reason in this extensive and well thought out list applies to my husband and I:BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Absolutely not in my case. I work with kids as a dance teacher.I feel a bond with many of my students, and like teaching them about the art form (i favor those that are 7-8 and older though). It's nice, however, to send them home with mom and dad at the end of the night! For me, besides envying the child free lifestyles of some of my mom and dad's friends,some of the strongest feelings of NOT wanting to be a mother came from talking with parents so much. In my opinion the way most of the parents I know are living their lives seems truly depressing to me. those parents who work...have it 10 times worse and so do their poor kids. I would go into a depression if I had to live life that way. I'd rather leave my mark on the world by planting a tree...lol! Seriously! When I go home it's so nice to have no kids around.Even though I love my job, I love my time to meditate, regroup, give myself a pedicure,read.

Well, first of all I can't seem to communicate with kids - of any age. I don't have anything in common with them, therefore can't think of anything to say when around them.

Possibly/probably I don't like them. They usually annoy me endlessly; e.g. making it impossible to have a nice visit with the parents 'cause they demand all the attention; make a mess everywhere they go/touch; screaming/running/rubbing grubby hands on everything. I realize this is the parents fault for not teaching them anything.Kids are so intelligent.I wish the moms & dads would take a few minutes to explain what is acceptable and what is not.

My dh feels exactly the way I do. We try to avoid having anybody with kids at our house.It causes so much stress that we can't enjoy the visit.

So, to truthfully answer your question ~~ I would have to say "YES", I dislike kids.

cp

Thanks cream pie and misstalia. Cream pie i do and i dont like kids. i dont like the way kids these days are going (that makes me sound so old and i am not really) and i dont like what is happening to the world. But although not a huge fan of babies (i got handed a new born the other day and all i could think was with its big eyes it looked like a bug) i amvery very good with children. I am good with youngsters and was since i was a kid. I was the big kid that looked out for the little ones. I was everyones favourite babysitter... i think all this is because i relate to children as if they are not children (even i remember how patronising most adults seemed and how much i loved the ones that treated me like i mattered and wasnt just a stupid kid... so i acted like it) anyhoo long ramble i also work with children with learning disabilities and challenging behavior. And i am good at it... and i am so glad to go go home and not have to deal with any more noise... we have one boy who is doubly incontinent, non verbal, and a handful because he is noisy personified... no one has to spend more than a certain amount of time with him at one go on a shift because he is that much hard work, i last at leats double without even feeling flustered. Like i said its a hard decision for us i think i would be a good mom but i think the world is that bad that there is no point. And i like being childfree.

Today I had a friend visit me at work, she came with her 7 month-old baby. He's absolutely adorable and I couldn't get enough of him. I held him, made faces at him, tickled him, etc and he would smile and laugh with cute little dimples. In fact he wanted to stay with me when she had to go. She couldn't understand why I don't want to have kids of my own. Well, one of the BIG reasons why I found him adorable is that I knew I had to give him back! I love kids, as long as they're not mine and are well-behaved!

I love kids and I'm very good with them. I seem to be best with older kids than with babies. I rarely ever carry babies. I'm a bit uncomfortable with them.

I feel as you do Alphamare. I really dislike how children are being raised nowadays.

Its definitely a corner stone in our decision. who would our children go to school with? socialise with? grow up with? date? be friends with? marry?

I didn't actively dislike children, at least not all of them. I can see cuteness in toddlers, and laugh at their crazy ideas. But for the most, I was never interested in them at all, and I felt uncomfortable around them. I dislike to hold a little baby for example. I was pressed to do it a couple of times by friends and I really didn't like it. They feel like they're going to break,and before you know they are crying with that annoying sound they make.

I really am not interested in kids. Sometimes they are annoying; sometimes delightful...but mostly boring.

Alpha, I feel similarly to you. I like kids, and I would like to have them in my life now that it is more stable in a way that it was not 10 years ago. I did not feel capable of taking care of myself, let alone another human being. I feel broody now but my husband does not. I also identify with what other people have said here, I would not want my kid going to the schools where I live and picking up habits and attitudes from the kids I see around me. I very passionately want to be a foster parent, and possibly adopt from the foster care system, but my husband is leery (I can't fault him for that! We both work in mental health and have seen our share of children who have suffered from being in foster care). But for now I am doing Big Brothers Big Sisters, so that I can have a relationship with a child and see where it goes.