BellaOnline Forums Relationships Dating Help me please before I go crazy!!!

Hi I am 26 beautiful intelligent and a kind hearted trusting woman who is in a strange situation with a man. Mama Gena says you can have any man you want and this is the one I want (at least right now) but he vanishes for a week without calling or returning calls which is not at all how it had been the last week, I finally got a hold of him last night to see what was up he said he had been increadibly busy with trying to fix his car and help his family which i totally understand but when I talked to him I asked him about going tailgaiting today which he indicated (by asking me if I had a car to get there) that he wanted to go but this yard sale he was working on with his parents was going to last until 2pm or so, now its raining really hard outside and i know it takes a lot of work for a yard sale but I would have thought they would have packed it in by now especially since its 3 hours after he told me they would be done, I tried calling him to see if he still was up for anything (I had alternate plans that I knew he would enjoy that do not involve sex) and I left him a message telling him about those, but I'm not sure what to think here, I asked him point blank if he wanted this to be over would he tell me and he said yes, he has a strange thing about titles but HE offered exclusitivty, and when I talked to him last night I asked if I had upset him or if he was mad at me or something and he said no he had just been really busy. I am not a very patient person and I have a lot of anxiety already so this is making it that much worse, Please help me ladies what should I do???

Relax a little. Many men feel smothered if their woman pushes them too hard, and their reaction is to disappear. Give him a long leash and try to manage your anxiety and impatience or you will drive him away for good. If you must have a really close relationship to be happy, then maybe this guy isn;t for you.

well I had to get my sweater from him so I did end up going over there (after leaving a message that I was coming) and he was just sitting around smoking with some guys, I asked to talk to him for 5 seconds and his first response was I'm kinda busy now but he did eventually come out and I asked him point blank if he wanted out, he said no he didn't and I said then what is the problem? and he said he thought I was getting too serious too quick but that this was not the time to talk about all this because he had guests I agreed but asked him to call me later he said he would and I said are you sure because I really don't like when you say you'll do something then blow me off like you have been doing all week, he said agian that he would call so I grabbed my sweater and left. That was Sunday, and I haven't heard a thing, I also haven't called him so how long tdo I wait and how patien't should I be? I hate playing games and thats all this feels like when it is probably all over a misunderstanding in the first place.

well I had to get my sweater from him so I did end up going over there (after leaving a message that I was coming) and he was just sitting around smoking with some guys, I asked to talk to him for 5 seconds and his first response was I'm kinda busy now but he did eventually come out and I asked him point blank if he wanted out, he said no he didn't and I said then what is the problem? and he said he thought I was getting too serious too quick but that this was not the time to talk about all this because he had guests I agreed but asked him to call me later he said he would and I said are you sure because I really don't like when you say you'll do something then blow me off like you have been doing all week, he said agian that he would call so I grabbed my sweater and left. That was Sunday, and I haven't heard a thing, I also haven't called him so how long tdo I wait and how patien't should I be? I hate playing games and thats all this feels like when it is probably all over a misunderstanding in the first place.

It seems I always write the same thing over here, but again, if a man disappears for a couple of days without a good reason, if he says he is busy and then he's having beer with the guys, if he says he'll call but he doesn't, seriously: WALK AWAY!
When a man is really interested in you, he wants to be with you. There is no excuse for not calling other than not feeling like it, if a man is really interested, he will call at the day and at the time agreed.
We could go into the reasons, but there I cannot help. He might like his buddies more than the idea of a serious relation, commitment issues, he might be interested in other ladies too so he does not want to close the deal to be able to keep his chances open..... I have NO idea how guys work, against popular belief, I think they are all different, lol. What I know is, you cannot settle for less than a trustworthy, open up front mature man, whose word you can take seriously.
Good luck!

If I may chime in here...

I agree with Solalux. It sounds like he is only interested when he is bored or has nothing else to do or just when he wants sex. If he were really interested in pursuing a serious relationship with you, then he would make the effort to be around you more or at least call when he says he is going to and tells you he will be hanging out with some friends today and will see you tomorrow or something.

If he goes days without making an effort to talk to you then he is not interested. I know how I am with my gf. I hate not being around her and talk to her constantly when I am not home and when it comes to making plans for something, I make sure we have no plans first.

Dump this guy fast and find someone who will appreciate you and what you have to offer. He's just stringing you along until he's ready for something more.

If he has an attitude like that, he isn't worth your time. Many guys are like that and that really sucks if it happens to us but it should be also us who should be aware of what we are getting ourselves into.

Sounds like he's just not that into you. I say break it off before you get farther into this manipulating relationship.

I don't care what a man says, if someone is truly interested in you and has a desire to be with you, THEY WILL CALL. They WILL come over. They WILL do for you.

Don't buy into his bulls*** excuses. He's just trying to see how much he can get away with. And before you know it, you might end up stuck being very convenient for him.

I now many relationships that are like this and they're all a mess. Please, spare yourself from ending up like that.

When you meet a great guy, he will take the time to be by your side no matter what! And then you will see a huge difference between a guy who's worth your time from a jerk who could care less.