BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Reading these posts make me question my choices...

As a childfree man I have the exact opposite reaction from these posts to MagnusMoss, reading all of these gives me hope that one day I'll actually be able to meet a single woman who doesn't desperately WANT to get "knocked up"! You're all very right when you say that you're in the minority. It's saddening to know that women get so much pressure from other women on the breeding issue, I often wonder how many who have kids actually stop to think about it or just jump into it both feet first because the stigma of not doing so would be too great to bear. Men get pressure too, from other men, I've been called a list of expletives when I told a male colleague I didn't want kids and from women the usual "you haven't met the right person yet" and "It's different when they're your own" and "But THAT'S what we're here for" and "you'll wake up one day and realise how purposeless and shallow your life's been if you don't have kids"... etc ad infinitum. Thankfully most of my male friends feel as negative about parenthood as I do so I have some support for the time being although most of them concede that being a father will just happen to them because "well, it's what people do, isn't it?" I've been a lurker on here for a while but only just started commenting, great forum! Pete

Nice to hear a male perspective! It is interesting that in many movies and television programs men are now portrayed taking on a greater roll in raising the children. Wonder if that will start having an impact on the bingo ratio for men?

The bingo ratio for men is already pretty high, not just from the media but from parents too, the issue of bingoing isn't something that applies to a single sex or is perpetrated by a single sex. I think most just accept it, like my anti-parenthood male friends who say that they'll just end up doing it because it's "what people do". They recognise that the alternative is likely to be a lonely life. I think that a lot of men are simply striving for "the quiet life" with a companion (note - nagging really works in most cases because a lot of men still aren't very good at being alone and would sacrifice many beliefs and desires to keep their partners). Sadly, they don't really realise that "the quiet life" is unlikely with kids around. I've never been afraid to be different and to speak my mind, I'd sooner that than live a lie. Interestingly, appx. 75% of women over 35 have kids, appx. 57% of men do. Those statistics alone indicate that about twenty percent of fathers have children with two or more women, I wonder if that's "the quiet life" they wanted and how many of the first relationships could've been saved if they hadn't conceived?

Hm...I had not expected a post like this on the forum. I agree with many of the replies above! But to summarize: 1. people who choose to live a childfree life do not hate kids per se. I know I don't. I just do not want the responsibility of having children in my life. 2. I am one of those people who have problems with my friends talking about their kids 24/7. Not because I do not respect their choice to have children. Not because I hate children. But because we had great friendships that changed. Whenever I call 'now is not the time' and often when I talk about things important to me I am not being heard because a child starts to cry. When all your friends are having kids, and you don't that is hard by itself. I have friends visiting eachother with their kids, but they hardly visit me. I cannot visit them so easily because I have a chronic health problem. So, in my case, what may seem like bitching, is actually a way of venting about something that makes me rather sad and frustrated. 3. No need for you to knock somebody up over that...The earth is overpopulated as it is! 4. And please let's try to keep respectful towards other opinions and be a bit tactful with what we say. Faeryqueen