BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse Something Weird

I've told my therapist that I suspect sexual abuse; however, I have no solid memories. There's a lot of evidence, but I can't recall actual moments outside of a sexual "game playing" phone call by my uncle once and something I did to another person (I never told her these two items, just that I don't have solid memories of sexual abuse). So we've been working on the physical/emotional abuse. Here's my situation: Since we've started down this journey, I'm noticing a physical feeling I've not noticed previously. I'm feeling, quite regularly, in a state of arousal/pain. Obviously, this is very embarrassing, and thank goodness for the anonymity of the Internet. Do you believe I should bring this up? I'm just so damn embarrassed, but this feeling is so regular and odd.

You shouldn't be embarrassed with this. It's human nature to have feelings like that. You should bring that up to your therapist. There's alot of painful memories that I have forgotten until something happened and it brought up those memories. But that is what your therapist is for. Talk to him/her and let them know how you feel.

writingwithink,
I agree with Silent_Cry03, in that you should not feel embarrassed with what you are feeling. Many times, survivors of any kind of abuse have triggers that bring back horrible memories of abuse. Your body will definitely also react to the triggers that you experience.

I want to encourage you to tell your therapist about everything that you are feeling and remembering. Your therapist is there to support you through this process and to also validate what you are feeling.

I remember several times when I was feeling very embarrassed about something I went through and it took some time to get it out verbally. Have you tried writing it down on paper and giving it to your therapist to read? That's what I had to do a few times. It made it easier for me, because I didn't have to verbalize it. Once my therapist read what I wrote and shared, we could then talk about it.

Please let me know how it goes.

I think that is a great idea that Kelli suggest to you. Write it down and let your therapist read it. Writing has always been therapy to me but it can only go so far. Write your feelings and express yourself exactly the way you feel, and then share it with your therapist. I'm not sure about you or not, but for me, I can express myself alot more on paper than I can in person. I hope we have helped you. :)

Thanks to both of you for your thoughts.

Best Wishes to you! :)