BellaOnline Forums Family Single Parents I need to vent

I was married for 2 years, and with my ex for a total of 10. We shared all the bills over that time. We had a huge engagement party that both our families paid for, and a huge wedding that we all chipped in for. I bought her a $3,500 wedding ring. When her and I split up, it was a civil divorce...she filed the paperwork which I signed...and 35 days later I was officially divorced. No court appearance required for any reason. There was nothing for me to contest or ask for because we did not have kids, or own a house, or have any savings. The relationship was over and we both knew that, and we both moved on with our lives. I didn't ask for the wedding ring back or for any of the furniture, wedding gifts or anything for that matter. I knew I had a claim to half of all that stuff and probably some monies, but why go through all that hassle and drama? I say, when it's time to move on, you move on...why drag things out and nitpick about "who paid for what" over the course of the relationship and "who is owed what" and all that nonsense. It's just not worth it. Let bygones be bygones. This brings me to my current girlfriend Angie and her ex, Tom... Angie had to bring Tom to court for child support that he hasn't been paying since they broke up eight months ago. Tom's lawyers actually had the audacity to say that Angie owes him $6,000 for various things (half of the furniture value, half of outstanding cable and cellphone bills, their engagement party cost, the ring, lots of other stuff here and there.) Angie obviously won the case on the child support front, but she now has to pay HIM each month from that money a certain amount to settle "her debt." Am I wrong here, or is this guy Tom completely out of line? He and Angie were not even married, they were engaged and he was never ready to marry her (part of the reason they split up). I can't even believe how some people can be so vindictive and so concerned with themselves and so consumed with such petty garbage. And I know this is all for "revenge" of Angie ending the relationship with Tom. Here's a guy who had to be brought to court because he wasn't paying child support and instead of finally just doing the right thing and contributing to his son's basic living expenses, he has the nerve to try and soak Angie for this stuff? Makes me sick to my stomach, but hey what can you do. Vent over.

Mike it sounds like you're a really great guy and that's a good thing...as you can tell not every one is. Sometimes depending on what happens in a relationship, they don't end quite as well as you and your ex-wife. I definitely feel for Angie and for you as well as you have to put up with that guy...
Best of luck to you!!!

Thank you Dianne...I'm doing my best on a day to day basis to stay positive with everything. Angie wants Tom in her son's life and she's giving him a chance to redeem himself. Hopefully, for little Jason's sake, he does the right thing now. Time will tell.

The great thing about kids is that sometimes when they get older they recognize the parent that was there for them and the parent that wasn't. My ex husband left when our son was 5, had zero contact with him until he was 12, then our son went to live with him for a couple of years because he wanted to get to know his dad. That was all it took for my son to realize that his dad was just oh...a jerk...and that was without any input from me.

I admire what you two are trying to do...and you're right time will tell...if he truly wants to be a father or just get back at Angie for finding someone who loves and supports her.