BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids how do I deal with all the ridicule?

because of my choice to be childless, I am treated like I am a heartless witch. I was recently chewed out by a hygenist at the dentist for my choice.I ended up storming out of there when she said carrying a baby was something every woman should try at least once. this is new for me and my loving husband cause after 9 years we have finally come out of the closet and said "the truth is we just dont want kids" why are we looked down on? I am a good person.

You do not have to deal with that kind of criticism or attack. We each have the moral right to choose our own life style. Just be happy with who you are, who your husband is and your life and smile and walk away when someone does not choose to understand. Do not let that affect your emotions. Rise above it.

Do you personally know this hygenist? Did she ask you point blank if you plan to have a kid ? Personal questions are very unproffessional. Your personal life is certainly none of her buisness.

I would have been p/oed as well.

cp

I told my mom this week, if she was going to raise the subject with me again, then she might as well forget about talking to me... she got the message and apologised. Good thing is they are such hypocrites... they all know its hard. They just pretend, when you get down to the nitty gritties, and ask them they come out and confess, just how hard it is... its just most people don't percieve they have choices. Its your choice hon'. I decided if its so fantastic then good for you... but I can't miss what I never knew can I now? but I can miss my fantastic relationship with my hubby, because I know that... don't I? So there you have it. Love the skin you're in and walk proud babie... you deserve it....

No! I did not know her at all! this was a new dentists office. she came in and after introducing herself and stuff, the next thing she asked is if I had kids. being truthful, I told her my husband and I had no plans to have kids and that is when the Mom of three lost it and began to lecture me and made it her mission to change my mind. I had a few weeks earlier taken a stand and asked my nagging sisters-in-law to knock it off with their hurtful comments and harassment over our choice...they beleive I corrupted their brother, who without me would want kids...even though he has said he felt that way even before meeting me. it is liberating to tell the truth and not lie and say "maybe in a year" but my in-laws, co-workers, and others I have come in contact with seem to go out of their way to make me feel like an abomination of nature. I could fill a phone book of all the comments that have come my way. I mind my own uterus, why cant other women do the same? I have never felt such rejection in all my life. it has, at times, been difficult to deal with. I have very specific reasons for my choice and that is my business. why do so many people think there is something mentally or physcially wrong with me? I really appreciate all the positive feedback I have been given. It has really lifted my spirit.

Oh wow, that's crazy.

Did you say anything back to this woman because she clearly needs to have someone put her in her place. Gosh, imagine how sad it would be if she has a daughter who grows up not wanting children. She'll make that poor girl's life hell.

Regardless if there was anything wrong with us, it doesn't give anyone the right to confront us and ridicule us the way she has. But this sort of thing happens to everyone who isn't considered the "norm".

I have yet to meet up with someone so confrontational other than my aunt and mom. Them I can handle. And it's gotten to the point where I'm ready to cuss out the next person who gets into it with me. I know that may be a little harsh but I am seriously fed up with it.

I guarantee you that woman, being the way she is, is going to go through a very hard time in life. Especially as a mom. She needs to learn to be understanding and consider people's feelings. It's apparent she's unable to do that. God forbid her children should grow up to lead a life she doesn't approve of. She'll probably never live it down.

Like the others have said, you are in control of your own life and no one lives it for you. Remember that you and you're husband are happy and that woman and people like her just can't see that. You're already one step ahead of her.

If I were you, I would report her to her boss if possible and never return back there. They should hire people who act professional. She was way out of line with that. I hope someday karma bites her on her intrusive behind.

the nerve.... anyhow, life goes on. So what have you decided to do? I was thinking that you may be feeling quite senstive now because you have just come out... so these words may feel a little more intense and in time you'll learn how to deal with them... "coming out" is always a big step, but I'm sure after a while you'll be fine... you'll be posting all sorts of posts to strengthen the battered:) take heart. I was thinking the beauty with being childfree is is that you are free to be!!

I can't believe she said carrying a baby is something every woman should "try"! Try?! It's not like, say, trying rock climbing, or trying a new brand of vino, or trying on a hat! Last time I checked, once you're pregnant, if you don't like it, you can't just say, "Yeah, I don't think I like this. I'm done." How weird!

What a stupid woman. Children deserve to come into this world being truly wanted and loved by both parents. "Every woman should try it once" is something you say about a hot stone massage, or a spa break with friends, or a bungee jump, not about a lifelong committment that affects others as well as yourself.

Apart from the fact that she seems to have a brain the size of a pea, it was unprofessional of her to lay off at you about your own personal business.

I would write to the practice manager and explain why you do not intend to patronise their premises any more. If she has behaved this way towards you, she probably has done so to others too.

this hygenist incident happened two days after one of my sister in laws had said some really harsh stuff. (I have actually not spoken to her since.) so I was pretty wound up when this stranger started to act this way. I cant even remember what I said to her exactly, I was reeling. the office manager followed me to the parking lot and by that time I was crying. I told her I came to have my teeth cleaned not to be judged and it was in their best interest not to bill me or my insurance for the visit. I really want to share why I dont want kids. I keep typing and erasing.I have never told anyone but my husband my reasons. I want to say it so badly and yet I cant get it out. maybe I feel if I could say it the weight would be lifted and I could receive valuable imput. but I guess I am just not ready...even though I feel I am among people who understand. perhaps tomorrow, I will feel more courageous.