BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids New Here ... liking the forum so far ...

So I stumbled upon this site last night and thought "Wow! Finally, others who get it." Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that there are people who have kids and love them, but IMHO, we should not impose our wishes on to others. I've slowly learned how to be tolerant of the nieces and nephews in the family, but don't really relate ... I have a great family, no one ever asks if I'm having kids. They've all accepted me as I am (of course, it helps that my nieces and nephews are having kids of their own). BTW - I seem to be having issues with the signature in my profile - the system complains that it's too long even with only one character in it ... Any clues? Cheers and Happy Posting! Dee

I am also new to this forum and very excited about it. It is great to know there are many other couples without children out there in the world! A whole forum full! I work/live in a very "pro-family" environment and sometimes feel I am the only one.

It is nice to see people married without children. I'm not married yet, but I don't have much of an interest in having children. But it seems like there's always so much pressure to get married and have children -- the "natural" course. Good to see people making it work otherwise!

I am new here as well and thought I would chime in. It is nice to have somewhere to go to see what experiences others have had with their decision to not have kids and how others have reacted. I've been in a committed relationship for four years now and am now engaged, so the "Are you guys gonna have kids?" question keeps coming up. We also just moved about 1600 miles from home, and it's hard starting over and finding other couples our age who aren't completely preoccupied with family life. Not that kids are bad, they just aren't for us. Anyway, long story short, it's nice to be able to come here and read what like minded people have to say :-)

Me too - I'm new. I guess I'm not 100% decided, but I'm feeling the pressure and have been told my utter lack of interest in babies and toddlers is weird (I like puppies much better... maybe I'll stick with them). So, it is nice to 'talk' to people who understand.

Hello all, Well, I do have children and your probably wondring why Im chiming in but its because I think everyone is different. Not everyone has that motherly or fatherly instinct. Im not saying you wouldnt be a great parent, Im just saying some people have no desire to be. Just like me for example. I dont care to have an animal or pet. I think they are cute but I dont want one. Im not referring to children as animals but what Im trying to say is that everyone has thier own opinion and I dont think its wierd or not normal to feel the way you do. Raising children is the hardest thing in the world but I wouldnt change it for anything. I wish you all the best in your lives and tell those people who look at you wierd or ask you those rude questions about having children, tell them that you enjoy your sleep haha

Just remember to follow your conscience. If you have the strong gut feeling that you don't want to have children, don't fool yourself into thinking that your feelings are wrong or maligned -- other people will try to make you think so, but you have to live for YOU!!

I read the post about your husband possibly wanting children. I hope the two of you will be able to work through your feelings on the "kids" question. Lots of luck!!

I completely relate to this pressure from people. The outside voices make you feel such a weirdo, for not wanting something everybody seems to want, that you end up questioning your motive, your reasons and even your wishes. Every time I felt a baby was likable, or I could see the cuteness in puppies, I ended up thinking that maybe I had some repressed maternal instinct somewhere and made me think (just think, I never said it out loud) that I might not be 100% decided.
Someone in this forum said something like how important it is to tell the difference between the outside voices and the inner voices. Sooo true

I'm new to this site too and I'm really starting to enjoy this. I feel like I finally have a place to go and I can find people I can relate to! One of my dreams is to have kids but my fiance doesn't want kids at all. It breaks my heart that he doesn't want kids but I would never try to pressure him into anything. I'm always getting asked the question "When are ya'll getting married? What about kids?", and I'm thinking it's really no one's business but ours. It's our choices and our lives and people should really respect that.

I'm new here too but already I feel at home! My last three long term relationships ended because I didn't want children, one of the biggest problems is that I'm good with kids, kids like me and every time a partner sees that she seems to think that I should have them as a result. I get it all the time, "you'd be a great dad, you're so good with children!" to which I normally reply that I'm also good at standing on my hands but if someone told me I'd have to do it for the next twenty years 24/7 I'd probably top myself! Pete