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Could you live in a town from where your people were deported to death? I think I can't.

I had been trying very hard to suppress my real emotions - in vain. I met a woman yesterday on my way back from Slovenia to Berlin (where I am currently living - bad idea, as it turned out), part Israeli, part American. So we started talking about the shoah, our families, feelings, experiences... She asked me a lot of questions, she told me a lot of her experiences and emotions, her family. I felt like she was squeezing the orange dry, but it was...I don't know how to call it...normal (as far as this topic can be called "normal"; but I think you know what I mean).
Two days before this conversation I had a talk with a Slovenian guy about the same topic.

After this talk with the Israeli-American woman everything I had suppressed kind of welled up, surfaced. I was suddenly able to see (as someone said): you can get the people out of the concentration camp - but not the concentration camp out of the people. It's kind of inside me, and this was the first time I accepted it.
Just - it doesn't only feel like it's a part of my life, but it IS my life. Not my whole life, of course, but...so strong.

I just recently read and reviewed a book for the Women's Lit site called Sarah's Key that deals with this very subject, living were a family was taken to a concentration camp. The book deals with a journalist who is assigned to write an article about the roundups in France. She discovered the very apartment in Paris where her husband grew up and they were now going to be moved into belonged to a Jewish family. It is a great book.

I think it would be hard to live anywhere near where a concentration camp or any place where the Jews or my ancestors were tortured. i don't know if I would be able to go a day without thinking about it.

Sarah's Key Review

I am feeling terrible. And I've got more feelings, thoughts, and psychosomatic reactions. I do not only HAVE them - I SUFFER from them. Suffering, angry, and sick, and...

In other places I don't have these feelings at all.
And this book sounds very interesting - I think I'm gonna read it.

It sounds like a great book and something that could be helpful in your own making of peace living in a place with deep rooted energy.

When there is space between us, it is easier to suppress our feelings, emotions and thoughts. When you are right there, that is not possible to do.

I am wondering if there is anything you can do to surround yourself with support as you struggle and face these feelings. Was speaking with the woman cathartic even though it made you confront some feelings you've been avoiding?

Maybe a book group around the book Jeanette suggested?

Yes, it was cathartic, it helped - BECAUSE it made me confront these feelings I#ve been avoiding.
It was necessary. I can say: it was necessary, otherwise it would not have happened.


I am currently unable to concentrate on anything, including reading. When I'll be better, I am going to read that book. And maybe a book group would be a good idea.

I recently read an article written by an individual who shares a similar experience to yours.... here is the link if you would like to read it. It is the second article in the newsletter.



Wexner Foundation Newsletter July 2009