BellaOnline Forums Family Adoption Grandparents adopting grandchildren

I am a cat person (but haven't had one for over 20 years), not a dog person, but love to hear you two talk about yours. Course I say 'That's why I don't have one!' I'll tell you about my 3 year old grandson though. The quilt store (where I had a quilt quilted) has a stone fish pond in the middle of the store - 8-inch gold fish included. When I was there the other day, my grandson (who is trained) climbed up on this pond, played with the fish and left a puddle in the middle of the store. His parents basical said 'Isn't that cute?' and walked off. I was embarrassed but also didn't do anything.

So about your granddaughters. Are Mary Jane and Tiffany half-sisters? Isn't the other mother concerned about her daughter's future financial welfare? If this was part of the settlement, seems like there would be a legal way to force the woman. Also seems like this attitude would affect the DHS's rulings. I gave up trying to figure out that department years ago. Seems like you have a decent CW now. It would be nice if they could all keep that personality, but don't you think it is the job that turns them.

Today is the last day of school, so I will be busy with my summer Grandma Day Care and won't be stopping in very often. These boys are 11 and 13 and shouldn't need grandma so much, but I think they'd kill each other if left on their own.

Good Luck this summer. GrannyH

Oh, what a funny story about your grandson...I guess if they didn't know you then you could've said "who are these people?" and walked off. But now you are the gramma and these things don't reflect on you!

Mary Jayne and Tiffany are cousins. Their parents are my oldest children. It is nice to be able to see Tiffany so much. She had moved to Arizona and then Iowa and we missed her terribly.

My husband talked to 8 lawyers about the trust fund that the mom said our son wanted for the girls. In open court too, so there is a record but basically the lawyers all said the same thing, he could have left the money to anyone and there is nothing we could do because it is a contract. Also they were not married and if they would have been then there possibly would have been something done about it if they had been married. But I figure that the money would have been gone before we could have gotten her into court and then all that would have been left was a ruling. Plus we would be out money for a lawyer. One lawyer even told my husband if he wanted the girls to have anything to take that money he would have spent on a lawyer and put it in the bank.

We will miss you so much while gramma day care is in session. I sure don't miss those summers spent with teens who are "bored". They finally did learn not to tell me that because I would find them a chore to do so they wouldn't be bored. I would always tell them I wished I was bored!

LOL, Granny H! Truer words were never spoken (or typed).

I hope everything goes well with Grandma Day Care! I'll look forward to hearing your funny stories about it when you get a spare minute or two to check in!

Hi Connie, Granny H, and everyone else!

How is your summer going?

Connie, how is the work on the house coming along? Have you taken a break yet?

How is your granddaughter enjoying the summer?

Granny H, how is "Grandma Day Care" going? I bet your grandchildren are having a blast!

I'm thinking about you, Connie with the upcoming court date. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

Hey Brandii, definately I think I am on break for a while! I did purchase some new light fixtures for the kitchen and hubby has to take down the old ones so I can paint before we put up the new ones. So I have been working on getting the kitchen cleaned up and will have to paint on the weekend when my husband is home to babysit. And seems like weekends are very busy with it being summer and so much yard work to do.

Well, I talked with the caseworker last week and she thinks the mom is doing great...she is pregnant and both her and the boyfriend have done everything so they are working towards reunification. I asked her if doing everything meant visiting your child? She has had 4 1-hour visits since February. She is still on supervised visits. My husband said I just need to face facts that they are going to give her back and could care less if she knows her mom or not. And with a new baby coming it seems very unfair to me that my grandaughter doesn't even know her mom, vice-versa. We are supposed to all get together for a meeting on the 2nd and this is going to be the "plan" for what is supposed to happen before the next court date which I am figuring will be in January. So I have been pretty bummed out about things. The mom hasn't called to check on our grandaughter in over a week now. Guess she is just too busy. I guess I just need to not worry about things as it doesn't help anything.

Connie, I really thought this was going to work out differently for you. And it is bringing back some painful memories. In my case, my son and his 'wife' didn't want their son - yet they did everything they could to insure I didn't get to raise him. They convinced the caseworker (who had originally told me grandparents would be the first option) to even withdraw my phone privileges. My grandson went through a series of placements - foster care, a young men's home, and now a group home. I think life will always be a little hard for him because he is not where he should be. He does have autism, but he is very functioning. However, he has accepted his fate, I have accepted his fate, and I just say at least he isn't being raised by his parents.

So Granny's Day Care is for his two younger brothers. Their circumstances are slightly simplier. They have bad parents. (I have said these boys would have no problems if their mother was just committed. I don't give my son a free ride, either.) Things are going pretty well. All I have to do is keep track of their schedules, get them going where they need to go, and feed them lunch. They are involved in planned activities - swimming, etc.

Good thoughts will continue to be sent your way Connie. GrannyH

Granny, I am sorry to hear about what has happened in the past with your grandson. When we started this we were told it was all about making sure our grandaughter was safe. But I don't feel that it has ever been about anything more than getting her back with the mom. I have heard so many excuses for the mom's behavior it is sickening.

So do you get to see your grandson now? I think the grandparents should have way more rights but that is not the way that things work out.

The mom called yesterday and asked if I would bring my grandaughter over today at 1 to her house. She wants her to see her bedroom. Also the boyfriend is going to be there. My husband had told me to tell her no but I told him we have to go along with her wishes and hope that she will allow us to see our grandaughter later.

Well, the visit was ok. I ended up staying 2 1/2 hrs. Their a/c was out and it was very hot and they smoke and so I had a headache by the time I left. Her house is very nice and so that was good to see that my grandaughter will have a nice place to live. She said the worker told her that she needs to start having 3 visits a week, at least 2 hrs long. I am going to call and tell her they should supervise at least one. The mom is not supposed to be driving and wants me to drive over there and I just don't think that is fair to me. I think they need to work on having unsupervised visits. I had told her if she didn't get her act together then they had told me this could go on another 18 months. And I told her she needs to get to know her daughter because this is going to be traumatic for her.

Connie,

I'm glad the visit went well, and thankful that the house is a nice place for your granddaughter.

You've been so strong through this, and such a wonderful influence in your granddaughter's life. I can't imagine the feelings you are going through right now.

I hope the additional visits will be welcomed by her, and that it gets easier for your granddaughter.

How did she feel about having additional visits?

I know the next month will be tough--I'm thinking about you!!

Hi Granny H!

It sounds like you've had so much on your plate, just like Connie.

You both are wonderful examples of what it means to be a mother and grandmother.

I'm so sorry for everything you've been though!

I'm happy the "Granny's Day Care" is going well. I'm sure keeping them busy is good thing, right?

Do you have any July 4th plans with them, or do you get some time off?