BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids List of Reasons for Not Having Children

You DON'T!! It's no one's business what you do with your uterus! They want to run your life?? Then let them Pay your rent!!

Why some people are so presumptuos to think they have to know everything about everyone and tell them what to do. That really fries me. Are they there when things go wrong and you need help?? NO!!!

I'm sorry but this really ticks me off. Tell them to mind their own business.

Lyndoll ~ you (or anyone else)really does NOT have to justify why you don't want kids. To those who think you should (justify) you could 'put the ball in their court' and say " why do you want (or have) kids?" Or just say to them " they're not for me".

I dealt with this for many years. My answer to their question was " we don't have kids, we've got three cats." Sometimes I got some strange looks, but it was usually the end of that subject.

It is none of their buisness. It very personal.

Wishing you all the best,
cp

....so you don't put oodles of time and effort into a little person that grows up to unappreciate you - and maybe even not want to be around you!

A friend of my parents, who has a fun, lively personality, was saying just tonight how one of his daughters doesn't appreciate his humor or even enjoy spending time with him and doesn't want him around when she's with friends...and she's 22, not a teenager anymore! You just never know how your children will turn out! Oh, this daughter of his has also become a financial burden..... sounds like a real blessing there. Sad.

I love to watch "Super Nanny". It just reinforces my desire NOT to have any.

[quote=Navigaar] I love to watch "Super Nanny". It just reinforces my desire NOT to have any. [/quote] Rofl so true, so very true.

You see other things on that show besides problem children. Jo has pointed out many times how the problems the parents have manifest in the children's behaviours.

One particular show, a Black basketball player, I think, I am really not into sports, I was appauled to see how he treated Jo AND his wife. He was a Great Big, self-centered, loud-mouthed, ignorant BABY. The house looked like an amusement park, it was hideous. Talk about TACKY! It was plain to see his wife was terrified of him. I BET anything she wanted to leave him but he wouldn't allow it. That particular show should never have been aired. It was all about Mikey, the husband, NOT the children.

Very well put. Most of those are my reasons for deciding to stay childless as well.

I'm so glad this forum exists!

My boyfriend and I of 7 years live with my best friend and her boyfriend, who have also been together for 7 years.

I like her just fine except when it comes to discussing marriage & children.

My boyfriend and I do not want to get married. I was never the type of girl who dreamed about the wedding dress or the ceremony - I just don't care. I'm happy to be with him for however long we're good together.

I also am positive I do not want children. I come from a bit of a deprived background and am working full time to put myself through college full time. When I get that degree, I want to have the time of my life! I want the freedom. I want to be selfish and go wherever I would like, doing whatever I would like. I believe you only get one life and you should enjoy it in whatever way suits you.

The problem is, my best friend won't accept this. She wants what I call the 'cookie cutter' life - marriage, children, whathaveyou. The other day she had the audacity to say "If (her boyfriend) and I get engaged before you and (my boyfriend)...which I think will happen...I think you'll want to get engaged too because the love bug is contagious."

She and her boyfriend also got into a debate with my boyfriend (when I wasn't home conveniently) about how he SHOULD marry me, even if he doesn't want to. Her boyfriend suggested the reason why my boyfriend doesn't want to marry me is because he "wants to sleep with other women still." As if marriage is a a guarantee against infidelity! My boyfriend was furious at the suggestion - we were both virgins when we got together 7 years ago (I'm 21), and we've never cheated on one another. More than I can say for my friend's beau...anyway...

The same attitude exists towards me wanting to be child free. My friend smiles and says "I know you'll end up having kids", and the like. It hurts, I feel like she doesn't know me at all.

She had the gall once to suggest that my beau and I don't want marriage or children because we're wary of commitment and responsibility! She was drunk at the time so I didn't let it turn into a dramatic ordeal with regards to my response, but it still burns me.

I don't know why they're so concerned with our relationship or our future - personally I couldn't care less if the two of them split up tomorrow! Why should they care about whether or not we get married?

Their reasons for having children - and their descriptions of how they would interact with their children - honestly disgust me. First off, my friend is TERRIFIED of being pregnant because of what it would do to her body. Honestly terrified. I think that would be the least of my concerns if I was about to bring a human being into the world. The boyfriend states having kids would be like 'an experiment'. My friend, in a nutshell, describes picking on her kids in the same fashion she endured from her older brother and sister. It seems very juvenile. For all the thought I've put into whether or not to have children...thinking of what life would be like day to day, the financial strain, how I - a person who is very paranoid - would worry every minute for my little ones, it seems like these two people who are hellbent on having kids are doing it 'just because'. The kicker is my friend wants to be a doctor, and that's a whole other story when it comes to being a parent.

I know this is a long post, I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm sad that I will probably have to ditch my best friend after she gets engaged because I won't be able to take that [censored] anymore, especially with the way she talks to me about it!

I fear for my future social life in which, from the sounds of it, I'll be further harassed by a wider circle of people about not having kids!

Oh Delirium, you are caught up in mindless drama with these people. I don't know if I would consider your friend a real friend. She's disrespectful, inconsiderate, immature and spiteful. Her relationship must be crud if she's trying to destroy yours. First off, you should let her know that you are married. Married in the sense that you and your bf are committed to each other, live together and are planning a bright future. It's the same as being married legally. The responsibilities of the reletionship are the same. A piece of paper isn't going to change that. And it's between the both of you if you choose to get that paper. My suggestion to you would be, keep your distance from this couple. They're just waiting to pounce on the chance to ruin what you have. And unless you put them in their place, most likely they'll never stop intruding in on your life. Also, a confrontation might end up to leaving bad vibes between you all. I don't know what your living situation is with these people but perhaps it would be a good idea to consider moving out and leaving those two behind. People like that make me sick. I'm actually having a similar problem. Except these people I can't escape from. My brother in law and his [censored] of a girlfriend are always throwing stupid comments in my way about what hubby and I do daily. These two have the most dysfunctional relationship. I suspect he's cheated on her, talks about women in front of her, won't live with her even after dating for 8 years and teases her about getting married in 4 more years, which he doesn't really want to do. Yet, they feel the need to say sarcastic little comments about the stupidest things at times when hubby and I are around. The bro-in law's gf was visibly jealous at my engagement party and she's been a pain ever since. I know they're comments come from insecurity and jealousy but as you know, it gets annoying really fast. Just appreciate the fact that this couple you can walk away from. Hope you don't end up with in laws like these :S

It's not easy traveling with small children.