logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,690
A
Chipmunk
OP Offline
Chipmunk
A
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,690
Hi everyone!

I wanted to talk a little bit about Post Adoption Depression, and feel free to add your own thoughts or experiences to this thread.

It's not uncommon for parents to experience some form of depression after completing the adoption process. This can vary from a few weeks of feeling tired or having the blues to more severe forms of depression, lasting longer.

It doesn't mean that parents aren't thrilled beyond belief about their newest member of the family.

It does mean that after spending months, a year, or years on the adoption journey, the transition to parenthood can be overwhelming.

Parents should be aware that this is completely normal, and that it's perfectly ok to talk with their doctor, and a licensed, reputable therapist if needed.

You wouldn't hesitate to find one for your child if needed, so don't hesitate to find someone for yourself if you feel like you might need someone to talk to.

It's perfectly fine and healthy to have help with this exciting and overwhelming transition.

You're also more than welcome to post and share your thoughts here on the Adoption forum. This is a supportive, non judgmental environment, and there's always someone a click for support! smile

Last edited by Cook4Kids&Adoption Editor; 06/03/09 10:47 AM.
Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
Koala
Offline
Koala
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
Great post Brandii, hopefully I will be experiencing these blues later!


Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301
N
Shark
Offline
Shark
N
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301
I have never even given this any thought. This is the first time I have read anything about this but it seems natural. The hormones involved in parenting surely are involved and it's a biological event for the parents as well as the actual physical event of getting the child.

Maybe that's why I haven't seen anything about this before. New, adoptive parents must feel this is somehow a reflection on them and people may ask them if this is what they really wanted in the first place. I can see why it may be hidden.

I'm not adopted nor do I desire to adopt a child but I have adopted many pets. When sometimes I will have a fleeting thought "Why did I take this animal in? Not saying human children are animals, well, we are all animals in the biological sense, I'm just trying to make a point here. But those thoughts are brief and pass. Especially if the animals exibits bizzarre behaviours or is sick. It passes and I do grow to love them. It's the actual care and their responses to it that feed the connection.

I commend anyone who has gone through any adoption process. From what I understand it's quite harrowing but brings great joy in the end.

I do recall seeing a program about adoptive parents who want to give the child back and the reasons why. That's rare but it does happen. How many things in life we think we want and eventually DO get but once we have it, it wasn't what we thought it would be like.


Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
Koala
Offline
Koala
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
"How many things in life we think we want and eventually DO get but once we have it, it wasn't what we thought it would be like."


How many times have I told my children, careful what you wish for...you just might get it! Or the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

We worry that we won't be able to do a good job raising our grandaughter, but after all this mess we realized that the job we could do was far better than the job her mom would do.


Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301
N
Shark
Offline
Shark
N
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301


Oh, she's blood. I think that makes a huge difference. You do it for HER. Little girls are so neat. does she like hats?? Hahahaha. How old is she?


Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
L
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
L
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
Very interesting post. I've read that any major lifestyle change, even if it's something you've wanted for years and years, can bring on depression. I wrote an article once called Post Dream Depression. We all need to be aware of this.



Last edited by leahmullen; 06/04/09 10:13 AM.

LEAH MULLEN
LIFE COACHING

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Originally Posted By: leahmullen
Very interesting post. I've read that any major lifestyle change, even if it's something you've wanted for years and years, can bring on depression.




Yes! This is why most psychologists recommend not making more than one major life change at a time. Ot at least try not to. Like if you are expecting a baby and need to move into a new house, try to do so several months before or after the birth.

As far as adoption goes, the road to the "grand finale" is constant stress. The parents' bodies are in a constant state of of raised adrenaline. Once the adoption goes throught, those hormones slack off and the parents feel exhasuted. Then add in a new baby - and it is now wonder they feel a little depressed (in the physical sense). It is a total system let-down. And the body totalle affects the brain. Add guilt to that (because they don't feel joyous enough) and you've got the perfect recipe the blues.


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
Koala
Offline
Koala
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,090
Yes, she is my oldest son's girl. She will be 2 next month on the 13th. She does like hats, but she won't keep one on. Another one of my grandaughters wears hats all the time.

I can definately say major lifestyle changes will effect you. But sometimes we have no control over these things! Our life has been really crazy lately and I have given up hoping for things to return to "normal". I don't even know what that is anymore!

Connie


Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
~anonymous~
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301
N
Shark
Offline
Shark
N
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 301


Maybe you could get her some funny hats.


Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,690
A
Chipmunk
OP Offline
Chipmunk
A
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,690
Thank you, everyone, for responding and understanding! That's just what I was hoping this thread would be--a supportive environment to talk honestly about feelings and emotions that come when an adoption is complete.

In years past, adoptive parents were almost afraid to admit their feelings, especially after they waited so long for their child or children.

Thankfully, many have come forward through the years and talked openly and honestly about their feelings and how they coped with them.

I think it also helps, like you guys were saying, to know that depression is normal with many life changing events, and that there is help out there. smile



Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Deanna - Adoption Editor 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5