Divineart, that is very honorable of you not to unleash a torrent of rage against any woman having an adulterous affair with a married man, considering what you are going through. I admire you for that and I pray that your outcome will be healing and happy. You'd be surprised to find how much stronger a marriage can be for coming through something like this.
And to diva: You need to reflect on what draws you to this man. First of all, know that you are being used. If you were the love of his life, he would be with you. Several years have gone by and he gets the goods for free. My dad always said, "A man won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free."
Some men are very good at tapping into the soul of a woman to say just what she wants to hear. You no doubt feel good when you're with him because of that. He makes you feel desired. In your subconscious mind, you believe that you must be special because he has another woman but he choose to spend time with you. And you need that feeling which is why you keep running back.
No one blames you for wanting to be loved. But a married man isn't the answer because he doesn't love you, he just wants that feeling of power and freedom and youthfulness that having an affair gives him.
To get over him, you need to:
1. Have respect for yourself. Believe that you deserve better. You deserve a man who will love you enough to commit himself to you in marriage like this guy has done with his wife.
2. Forget about him. Realize that everything that happened between the two of you was in illusion. Not real love. Just sexual gratification and a head trip.
3. Work on yourself, your present and future. Fill your time with productive things. Education, professional advancement, personal development, socializing with friends.
4. Pray to God, if you believe in Him. He can help you focus on what is good in life. And while you're at it, ask for forgiveness for the damage done to this person's marriage and wife.
5. Open your eyes to what can be yours. When you're looking back, you won't see what is right before your eyes and it could be the man of your dreams. The real one.
Some women want only what other women have. They like the power without having to commit to a full-time relationship. A married man is safe for them. Whatever your reason for being in a relationship with a married man, know that it isn't reason enough to have an affair. How would you feel if your husband were having an affair?
Get strong and get on with your life. Someone real is waiting for you. And he doesn't have a wife already.
Good luck.
