BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids On the fence? Check out this thread

Beth_M, You are very welcome!! :) I am Christian as well, and I don't know too many other Christians like myself! It's nice to find others who feel the same way! Here are a couple more links: happilychildfree.com/ nokidding.net/ childfree.net/

its funny, a friend of mine... who actually happens to be in labour as we speak-anyway, she always said she didn't want to have children... and I remember that her husband would indicate he didn't want to have kids when he was with us... but she would always come back and say... he actually did....i digress, thats not the issue... eventually she bowed down to the pressure, and like I said today is the day... however I asked her once what the @#$^& happened. It turns out.. she decided that God uses women and moulds them into whom he wants them to be. So she got of the pill and waited for God to mould her into ... well I guess a mother... really divine huh? I am a Christian too by the way, but somehow I found that a very "interesting"... dare I say "godly?" reasoning...

I'm a Christian too, it's great to know there are other Christians who feel the same about kids :) At my church there is a current baby boom; all the couples who've been married for a couple of years are suddenly pregnant or nursing - I hope there's nothing in the water ;) Everyone expects my husband and I to be producing soon, I think I feel the pressure to reproduce even more strongly in church. We've been married nearly 2 years and I'm not even used to that yet, I can't begin to imagine adding a child to the equation so early on (but then I can't imagine ever adding one!) Andso? I believe God moulds us into the people he wants us to be too, but I think it's a fairly safe bet that giving up birth control probably means you're going to be moulded into a mother! I sure hope your friend doesn't go the quiverful route of family planning, how terrifying would that be?! Again, it's so nice to meet other Christian women who don't feel obligated to add to the Sunday school numbers :)

Andso and Cat1980, How nice to find two more Christians here! :) Andso, I hope and pray that your friend adjusts okay! I do believe that God can give us the strenth to take on experiences that we ourselves don't believe we're capable of handling, and maybe that's what your friend meant. So, I guess it was like a leap of faith for her. In church, I guess everyone is still following the commandment of "be fruitful and multiply?" I hardly think it still applies to our over-populated world, and I'd almost feel a little guilty having a child of my own when there are so many children needing homes. I hear that the Methodist church doesn't pressure people to have children - I wonder if the members are more relaxed about it as well? I actually don't attend church on a regular basis - I'm a different thinker in so many areas, that I find it hard to connect to most people in church, but to fair, that applies to most all people I meet! haha

you know - I have been thinking a lot about the "be fruitful and multiply" statement. I don't think it necessarily means "go have more children and more children and more children".

I think (my personal opinion) it means be fruitful in your witnesssing and multiply Christianity. Spread the word of God.

It is even mentioned somewhere (I'll have to go digging for the exact reference) that witnessing to people is like planting a seed that God then helps to grow.

As Chritians we plant the seed, then come back and fertilize it a little, and God provides the sunshine and rain to truly grow the relationship.

Sp I think we can look at "be fruitful and multiply" as be fruitful in spreading the love of God and multiply Christianity across the world.

Just something to think about.

Michelle, I totally agree with you. I also believe it applies to multiplying God's kingdom. I think there can be a lot of pressure from within church though - I think the amount of pressure probably depends on demonination to some extent. I once read an article by a pastor who said not having children was selfish and against God's will, and a marriage without children couldn't be a proper marriage. I take a lot of issue with that as it negates the marriages of those who can't have children and those who are still to have children. I'm part of a fairly contemporary evangelical church so I don't think my views will be met with too much horror...if I ever dare air them ;)

^ I think you two are right in that that statement can have different meanings. Cat1980, I've come across those articles as well. They're easy to find with a google search, and I've always found them a bit - I don't know, oppressive maybe? I find them very limited in thinking as well. I take issue with it too. I'm glad you're part of a contemporary church that hopefully loves and accepts its members regardless of whether or not they chose to have kids. :)

Whoa!! -- I have missed out on some good conversation this week! There are three specific times in which God told man to be fruitful and multiply: 1-Adam and Eve so they could populate the earth, 2-Noah and his sons' families to re-populate the earth after the flood, and 3-to Jacob so he could create the nation of Israel, which was part of God's plan to eventually create a lineage for Christ. God clearly had motives behind each time He told man to be fruitful and multiply. I don't believe that God intended for it to be a commandment for all people. If that were the case, women who weren't capable of having children would be going against God.

I think being CF by choice is not addressed in the Bible because it wasn't an option back then -- babies just happened! David said in Psalms that children are a blessing, but that is not a commandment to reproduce (like the Quiverfull types believe). I think that sometimes the childfree are in a position to serve God more than those raising families. Take the apostle Paul for instance: He told the Corinthians that by not marrying, he could concentrate on pleasing God rather than pleasing his wife. I think the same principle applies with the CF. I know another CF couple at church that takes responsibility for many ministry areas that people with kids would never have time for.

BTW, I am a member of the Church of Christ. In the CoC, there's no outright pressure on couples to have children, but the child-rearing culture is popular, alive, and well if you know what I mean -- not many CF couples in my neck of the woods.

"I think that sometimes the childfree are in a position to serve God more than those raising families." Does the name Jesus Christ ring a bell here? Of course Jesus knew he was going to die and why bring that pain and grief to children. Having your mother watch you die was bad enough. I am childless and if pressed for a religious affiliation I would have to say I believe in the teachings of Jesus but a lot of my ideas about him are changing lately. But that is another topic. There is a real and very important issue here that no one is talking about yet. This very world we live in is collapsing around our heads mainly because there are too many people. People use things and those things need to come from somewhere. Our earth is being used up and no one seems to notice. I believe that the childless are not selfish or cowards or ungodly. The childless are simply not adding to a problem that needs to be addressed ... and soon ... !!! If you choose to be childless and need an 'excuse' to friends and relatives, just say that there are too many people in the world already and then go on the web and find some facts to back you up.

[quote=beth_m] ...There are three specific times in which God told man to be fruitful and multiply... God clearly had motives behind each time He told man to be fruitful and multiply. ...I don't believe that God intended for it to be a commandment for all people... ...I think that sometimes the childfree are in a position to serve God more than those raising families. Take the apostle Paul for instance... [/quote] Excellent points!!! *Thank you* for bringing those up, and I especially love the point about Paul. When you have a child, that child becomes your whole world, and it greatly takes away the ability to help so many others, "who were already here," and as you said, less time to serve God. I have a 40-something CF friend who is always helping others in need. If she and her husband had children, most all that service to others would go out the window.