BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Rihanna & Chris Brown

I thought this was an appropriate place to post this topic since it involves Domestic Violence.

I read that Rihanna and Chris Brown just got back together and are on Sean Diddy's private island spending some alone time trying to reconnect. I have always thought once an abuser, always an abuser. But maybe I'm wrong?

If anyone has experience in this please share. I just don't get why she would take him back after all of that. I know these types of things are humiliating but with all the public humiliation it seems like there is no going back from there.

She could be in the typical victim cycle. As far as we know, this is the first incident and unfortunately 9 times out of 10 a victim goes back after a huge blow up. She may get beat up again, privately, and go back. It is hard to say why she is doing it. But you are right typically once a person abuses and realizes he/she can get away with it, they will continue doing it. I also find it sad that Brown has spoken out in the past about witnessing his own mother being abused at the hands of his father and other men yet he does this to Rihana.

Jeanette I agree with you 100%. On this particular story something just isn't sitting right with me, though. I think more happened then what was shared with the media. I hate to pass judgement on one or the other.

Hello, I think that Rihanna doesn't want to ruin Chris Brown's life in music; so she will agree to an amicable split. Done behind closed doors I am hoping that she doesn't stay with him but in name only until the heat is "off". If she has a child that is Chris Brown's then they can plan a visitation schedule together before the baby is born. Brown may be able to control himself with help, but then he will have to be fully cooperative with counsiling. Most abusers if not hitting ,he could potentially manifest his abuse in another way, such as verbal etc. Too bad, they are so young, and have so much life to live yet!

Mary Caliendo

My own experience has been that an abuser keeps abusing in one way or another. But I do believe people can be rehabilitated if they are willing to do the hard work involved and if the other people in the relationship stand up for themselves.

As far as Im concerned his music life is over and if I had anything more to say about it I would tell everyone to not buy his music or acknowledge him period. Same with Rihanna....I don't beleive she is sending a good message and her being a spokes person for Covergirl should not be profitable for her either.
maybe she can peddle makeup for abused women. Why should they profit from bad behaviour. Same for any one else like sports figures. By the public supporting them it only enforces that they think they can do anythng they damm please without reprecussions whats so ever. Most of the singers today are coming from poverty and since they got luck and fame stuff it all up their noses instead of doing good with it. There are no more values out there.

Oh, I thouroughly agree with you in many ways, these are basically 2 kids with too much, too fast. I agree they do what they d**n well please and the respect for people in general just isn't there.
It is very sad the whole affair.I agree I think that Chris Brown is most likely finished for awhile. But look the world is so foregiving. Michael Jackson "wacko jacko" London Tour completely sold out in a matter of minutes!
It's not Rihanna fault that a man abused her, and it is a mind-set as Jeanette said a cycle- why they take back the abuser-so she should not lose her campaign! They are just singers not role models.
And unfortunately if Rihanna has taken him back she is using poor judgement and I feel she shouldn't be punished by us (media)any further. I choose to stand with Oprah and say that if a man hits you once he will hit you again, and that Love does'nt hurt!

Mary Caliendo
Tea

This was just bothering me as I was trying to sleep, I heard on Larry King Live that some people on the internet were trying to blame Rhianna, that she had somehow provoked the assault. I suppose I'm just expressing a little bit of anger and disgust at that way of thinking and sometimes the culture, the "Adam and Eve" syndrome (the woman is somehow to blame). Rhianna herself probably feels somewhere that she deserved it. I'm still young but have faced enough sexism and sexual assualts in my life to be fed up with the inequality women still face and unfair treatment, even though I learned in my history books that Susan B. Anthony had solved the problem years ago. It's a mentality that I would love to see eradicated, the idea that women are not equal to men, even if we are in the eyes of the law and government.

I'm just adding on to my train of thought: my own personal ideas as to why Rhianna would go back was that the assault lowered her self-esteem so much that she doesn't think she has the power to leave, is listening to what he's saying and doesn't trust herself, possibly that he's the only one that would love her etc. etc. etc. However, from what I have heard on the media by professionals on this subject is that the relationship has entered the "honeymoon phase" in which she believes the "I love you's" and "I'll never do it again's". Call this a lame response to all of the abuse of women, but I think men REALLLLY need to learn more about emotions and how to handle them, to be more emotionally aware, etc. Girls are typically taught to talk about emotions and men to "macho"; thus I think society and gender-stereotyping plays a very large role in what has happened and this incident can't be considered an isolated one. It's a larger issue and problem that needs to be solved.