BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids New here, saying hello!

A girl I knew waaaay back in college sent me the link to this site when we were tossing back and forth the woes of being single and childless in this economy. I am so glad she did. I've only read through a handful of posts, but holy [censored] am I glad you all are you there! I knew there had to be other people who were choosing not to have children for one reason or another; people for whom the creation of the children is NOT the defining direction of life. *Whew!* I was getting pretty worried that I was only one of a few. I'm 32, college educated, spent four years in the Army, and work as a veterinary assistant. My brother and sister in law had a daughter last May and of course, as I cuddle my new niece and play with her, the question comes up: When are YOU going to have children? I think my poor sis-in-law is a little confused by it, but the desire just does not exist in my heart, plain and simple. I like being able to spend what (oft times) small amount of free time I have regaining my lost sanity from the day. And can I just give a gold medal to Sleeping In on days off? What a pure, pure joy. When things start getting haywire and crazy in life, those are the days that keep me going! I look forward to talking with you all a bit more and am just SO glad to know there are others out there who share some of my thoughts and experiences. What originally brought me here was the aforementioned conversation I was having with a friend. The Octuplet mom started it off, but basically it boiled down to not having any resources for aid in this economy because we were single, educated, and CHILDLESS. Is there anyone else out there struggling to keep the rent paid who runs into the same obstacles? I work as many hours as my job can give (and just got cut by 2 1/2) and without a second income (husband, roomate, etc), every pay period is a carefully constructed scheme of getting bills paid and still having gas money to get to work. But man, if I had kids, the tax breaks and aid opportunities would just be rolling in. Or so it seems. Anyone else?

Hi apple blossom =)

Welcome to the forum! It's a great place to come hang out!

I am so with you on the tax breaks thing! Here's a gem for ya-

I used to work with this girl "J". J was dating a guy that she didn't like very much and talked about breaking up with him several times with me. The next thing I know, she's pregnant! She quits her job, they have a shotgun wedding, and have the baby. The husband only works part-time, and J wants to stay at home. They have zero money, so of corse they are on welfare. Also, there were TONS of complications from the preganancy, premature baby, etc.
Well, 3 months after baby #1 is born, J is pregnant with #2! J still has no job, and her husband still only works part-time!
Fast forward to about 3 months ago, J comes into my work to visit everyone with her 2 babies...and announces she's pregnant AGAIN!!! My reaction to this news was anger, pure and simple. My husband and I work our butts off to pay for J and her irresponsible husband and their baby making factory? I mean, baby #1 was a mistake, they have NO money....but, hey! Let's just see how many more we can make, right?

Apple Blossom - Love the name. Welcome to the site. I'm like you in that I never, ever had the desire/want/need to procreate.
I am a member of another site similar to this one. I will give you the name if you want.

on a roll - my gawd , your friend is a slow learner. Where is her brain ?!!! Oh well, hope she's happy

Hi cream pie! Here's the thing...she's not a friend, just used to be a co-worker!

If she was a friend, i probably would have disowned her by now, haha!

Thanks for the welcome, gang! I just got my taxes done today (speaking of) and I got slammed on my federal return but still got a little back from my State return. I'm just poor enough to have to constantly struggle, but not poor enough to get any breaks. Isn't that just how it goes? Cream Pie - you mean there are even MORE people out there? What other website? On a Roll - that is JUST the kind of person I'm talking about. Maybe if they had a quarter to scrape up, she could put it between her knees and close down the baby factory for a while! Don't get me wrong, I think children deserve all that we can give them. There are far too many that are just unwanted, unloved, unplanned for, and just don't have enough. (Remember, I work in the animal care world, so the parallels between kiddos and stray animals are striking.) BUT! Blatant irresponsiblity should not be rewarded by handouts paid for by others, especially those of us going out of our way not to burden the system any further. Sorry if that sounds a little bitter. Tax time always makes me hate life a little bit and stuff like that just rubs lemon juice in the wound, y'know? Maybe someday we'll be able to list pets as dependents. :-) Lovely to meet you!

howdy do! I totally understand where you're coming from. I have four legged kids and you know how expensive it can be just taking care of them properly. I think some women have kids to just get benefits-do you watch Maury ? You'll understand what i'm saying. at least i had sense enough to use birth control, and strong enough to be independent. Too many women depend on men to make their living and i don't get it- especially when we can do it ourselves.

"""Cream Pie - you mean there are even MORE people out there? What other web site?"""

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Apple Blossom~~~
Here is the site:

www.chidfreebychoice.com?techsupport.htm-7k

If web sites are not allowed here, just google 'childfree by choice message board' and you will get it. It is a fantastic site. It's my "bible".

There are tons of childfree resources out there once you start looking. There is a woman named Kaye who is writing a book about being childfree (Kidfree and Lovin' It) and keeps a blog on a website by that name. She also has links to all kinds of news articles and organizations related to being childfree. I actually ran into her on this forum a few months back when she was looking for people to take the childfree survey that she has on her page -- collecting data to help with her book.

I have also found excellent articles and discussions at a site called The Childfree Life. So far, it is my favorite site that is completely dedicated to childfree issues.

LoveChildfree..I just registered with The Childfree Life after reading your post. I am looking forward to reading through the web site and message boards.
It is pretty comforting knowing there are more and more places for the CF to go and be accepted! Thanks for posting the site!

yota, I look forward to "seeing" you there.