BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement Will it ever get better?

hi Judy,

Thank you for forgiving me. Yes, it is hard enough when we lose a love one. Even harder during the holidays. My husband died December 16, 2005. I'm reliving those memories, good and bad again and I hate it. I dont hate the holidays, just reliving the pain I have to feel. Its not like I'm the only one going thru this. I feel for all who lost their loved ones.

Before my husband died, I took life for granted. After he died, I woke up and realized how precious life is. I have a saying... live your life to its fullest. You never know when tomorrow will be here.

Merry Christmas to you and your family Judy. Thank you again for being patient with me. Best of luck to you also.

Julie

HI JULIE ANN,
Oh, you did not mean for what you said to come out that way. I know it is very hard to deal with, especially on the holidays. I used to take people & things for granted until I started to loose almost every member of my family long ago. It happened in a very short time frame. I have never lost a spouse.

Then 9 yrs. ago I became seriously ill & had 2 major surguries in 7 months. I thought that was it, but now I'm ill again. So, I also realize how precious life is. I value every relationship & friendship that I have now. . Yes, you are so right. We never know what can happen.

I apologize if I was too outspoken or harsh to you. I want to wish you a healthy & blessed holiday. I also want to thank you for your patience & how much class & grace you have, even when I disagreed with part of what you said. You are a nice lady & good person. I do wish you good luck & I hope that you do have some close family & friends to be with around the holidays.It helps to have the support of other good people. Judy K. Chicago.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Husband 3yr ago today, after 13yr together. Losing a spouse is a life changer...You've lost your past, your present and your future. Be good to yourself and cry when you need to. They're healing tears. I still miss my Husband every day but I've also accepted that he's gone and try to just remember all the good times we had together. Please know that it does get easier as time goes by.
HarleyGirl

I am not sure how to feel. My biological father passed away this morning...It is along story but I will try to make it short. I have always known this man. I found out when I was 21 that he was my father and that his one daguhter was my half sister. we were always very close growing up and even closer since we found we were sister. His other daughters dont know about me. I was kept hush hush,In the last 3 yrs I have been around him more and talked and seen him on special occ. like my sister kids bday parties and with my sister...but I am not sure how to feel... part of me wants to cry and then the other part i feel like i shouldnt care... I feel bad for my sister at the same time...I want to cry cos he was my dad but then I dont want to cos I was kept hush hush and he never wanted anything to do with me and my sister brought us together 3 yrs ago when her mother passed away who is not my mom...not sure how to feel comfused here in ny

I know that this is a late post but it touched a place in my heart. My oldest son was diagnoised with ALL at 3 and we lost him at 7. He would have been 26 this March. Even today, I still have bad days, only there are shorter in duration and less frequently. I remember the words my dad said,"You never get over it, you just learn to live with it." No truer words were ever spoken. You see, my dad lost 3 sons, all before their 21st birthday. All in 3 different ways. Yet, he learned to laugh and joke and even after his first grandson died, he was able to help us through the heart ache. So, while we cry and ask "why" and walk around missing our loved ones, we will eventually move forward. A little sadder then before, but healing as each day goes by. We will have bumps along the way, but will grow strong as each day comes by. God Bless to each of you.

MariRN, sorry for your loss, and everyone else's
As time goes on I always have memories of my son, but over the years i have learned to handle it differently.
And yes MariRN, We do grow stronger with time.
God Bless you also
Rosie

I agree Rosie.

The memories of my husband (8 months of marriage) is still there but I've learned to look back and smile or laugh at the wonderful memories I had with him. I have found now that he's been gone 3 years, I've become a stronger person. Now I'd like to reach out to those who need help or just needs an ear to listen.

Julie

For me, it was the good memories that helped me get through the bad times. While Matt has been gone 18 years, he still lives in my heart and my mind. My strength came from my dad. He lost 3 sons all before they saw 21. So he was my rock and always had a word or two of wisdom. When he died, while I grieved, I also new he was looking forward to seeing his sons and his grandson. That gave me peace. God Bless to all you grieve.

I am so sorry for your loss. Honoring Memories (HonoringMemories.org) is an online memorial organization which sets the standard for providing high quality, unique memorials to individuals and families empowering them find the needed way to remember and honor their loved ones. We strive to connect with, grieve with, laugh with, and uplift the lives of our customers. We value, above all, our ability to serve everyone who can benefit from our product. Our company has established a giving program focusing on the communities where we live and do business, and is concentrated in three major areas: research, development and patient care. Best Wishes.

It will get better. You have to allow yourself time to grieve. People expect you to be over it in a certain amount of time and thats just BS. There is NO set time to grieve. If it takes you years then so be it. I watched my best friend die in a car accident and it has taken me 5 years to even start to be normal again. So don't let anyone make you feel bad for grieving. And take care of you.