BellaOnline Forums Family Single Parents Where are all the single parents 2009?

Hi,
I read a very interesting post here in the single parents forum. I wanted to bring the question back to life for 2009.
Where are all the single parents? I remember that there use to be a huge number of single parent households. Now it seems every where I turn the trend seems to be going back to 2 parent families. Has everyone married/remarried except for me? I'm sure there must be some single parents out there with issues vaguely similar to mine.
-If you're a single mom, how do you motivate your 12 year old son to do well in school?
-What do you do when you want to go on dates, but you really don't want to go on dates you just feel it's something you should do?
-Why can't a single parent look for a friend without everyone thinking that they are trying to find a date? Can't men and women just be friends?
-How do you go about finding other single parents in your area?
-What happens when you're in a crowd of married women (or men) do they make you feel like the odd person out just because you don't have a "husband" or "wife"?
-Did all of your married friends with children disappear after you got divorced from your spouse, even though you still have the kids?
These are just some of my own "burning questions" for 2009.

I am a single parent right now and if you want to find other single parents, you can go to a local Parents Without Partners group in your area and I do feel alone when I am with other married parents because they are talking about them or when they are together, they are cuddling on a couch, or kissing each other once in awhile in public and I miss a partner around the holidays or in the winter when I am sitting on a couch alone wishing I had someone there to cuddle with.

I do have my children with me so I may be alone but I will never be lonely. Does that make sense?

I heard of that organization a couple of years ago, and I remember looking it up but I don't remember why I never went to a meeting...I'll have to check into it again, thanks
I set a high standard (not sure if that's the word) and I don't want them to see an endless string of men in and out the door, so I've very, very (did I say "very"..lol..)selective if I bring one home you know kids will either hate them or get too attached.
Not only do winters get lonely, but summers sometimes when I want to go for walks or stuff like that. I used to think that there were a LOT of single parents, but I'm finding there aren't.
And I totally agree with you..I LOVE having my kids around and we have a great time, my house is never quiet, they've always got something going on, but then they have to go to bed and it's that really quiet time that I like, but occassionally I do miss sharing it with someone...just to talk to.

I'm a single parent, and a single grandparent.

Hi Rosie,
Do you face any challenges as both a single parent/grandparent?

I'm a single parent too... my girls are 8 and 10 and it's been a difficult road. My youngest daughter has a very demanding personality and at times I think I'm gonna pull my hair out. But, at other times I just have to smile, she's just like me!

Hello, I was a single-parent for 16 years until I met my now husband. I raised my children, now 19 and 21 alone for 16 years, and without child support or their fathers involvement. It was extremely financially and emotionally difficult, but we made it though and are all three stronger for it.

Oh, I did date a few times when they were older, but it was such a 'weird' experience I gave it up quickly! I met my husband at a home business meeting, and we began dating very, very slowly. Over time is became more serious and we then married.

I give BIG CHEERS to any single parent out there, as you deserve much credit for all you endure. When they are grown, they will truly appreciate all you have done, and you will have a much closer relationship with them.

Sandy

HI Sandy,
Congratulations on your marriage.
I know what you mean about dating being "weird". I tried it for a while and the single (no kids) guys I found I really didn't want them around my kids - for various reasons. The divorced guys with kids were so mad at their ex's that all they griped about was paying child support. If they didn't want to take care of their own kids...they were not the person I wanted around mine. So I spend most of my time enjoying my kids and life. I figure if it happens one day it will happen, if not - the kids and I will be living a very happy life either way.

That is my situation too, Dianne. I am a single father of two beautiful children. And there are plenty of women and men "who love children" but have none of their own. I feel it is better to date a single parent because they know the trials and tribulations you go through as a parent where one who does not have children may not understand and may get jealous when the kids have to come first and that is where problems start.

I once had a woman ask me if I get lonely without the company of another woman and I replied, "I have children. I may be alone, but, I will never be lonely."

I agree with both you and Dianne, Vance, to a point. I have two daughters ages 8 and 10 and I still get lonely sometimes. We have a good life, even though it is difficult being a single parent.

But, sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to other than the girls. I sometimes get tired of watching Hannah Montana for the upteenth time lol... Or I want to have an adult conversation instead of talking about valentine cards and matching spong bob socks lol...

I am dating a guy that is single, never been married and doesn't have any kids. That is a challenge in and of itself. He doesn't really know how to deal with kids, he expects a little too much sometimes. They aren't little adults, they're kids lol... it is hard for someone who doesn't have kids to make the connection but the girls love him very much and he is very good to them.

If he had kids of his own I wonder if he would treat my girls differently? If there would be a distinction between them and his own kids, so I'm kind of glad that he doesn't have any other than mine. So far so good, we'll see how it goes!