BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Bringing kids to work....must VENT

I work in a really small office - two bosses and 3 employees with our accountant coming in once a week on Tuesdays. Today she brought her 4 yr. old daughter with her. I'm losing my damn mind. I just can't take being around little kids anymore. My husband and I are so happy to be childfree. I used to babysit a lot when I was younger and maybe I'm just completely burnt out.

I hate all the constant questions; the "stage whisper" that is louder than just plain talking; the having to be nice to her because I'll be the ogre if I'm not; the constant "Mom, Mom, Mom"; I could go on forever.

WHY do I have to put up with this? She doesn't bring her much but you know what? She shouldn't bring her AT ALL. This is an office, not a daycare. It wasn't even that she didn't have anyone to watch her - she just wanted to spend the day with her kid. So what...I'm supposed to suffer through this day because you chose to work while having kids and now you miss them? ARGGGHHHH.

She just completely assumed that it would be fine with us but my nerves are completely on edge. I now have to listen to Hannah Montana coming from the other room. Are you f***in' kidding me? We don't have music on ever. This and soooooooo many other reasons are exactly why I am sterile. Sorry - just had to vent to people who may understand.

Actually I think you're being entirely reasonable. Nobody in my team at work expects to bring a small child into the office for the day and nor do they play music out loud. That's what headphones and MP3s are for, and these are not used during office hours. It's a large medical team and quite a few members of staff have children, ranging from around a year old right up to the teens.

Does this member of staff not have holiday she could use to spend with her child?

Hi,
Since I have kids, I've never replied in this forum before. But when I saw your post...I had to tell you, even though I have kids - I agree with you 100% here. My kids have no place at work (even though they ask to come). It's not fair to other workers. Kids in the workplace can be a real distraction. I definitely feel for the single parents that run into day care difficulites, trust me I used to one of them, but bringing my kids to work was never an option.

PS...I feel the same way about kids at restuarants, if they can't behave, perhaps it's best that they be taken home.

You should speak privately to your boss. I have kids and I can't understand why in the world taking kids to work has become an acceptable trend. There is NO way an employee can focus on work AND her child at the same time. She will have to bounce back and forth from work to kid. It isn't fair to the company, the child or the other employees at the office.

Bosses who think that bringing kids improves productivity are fooling themselves.

I LOVE children, but I would not want children at the office. Totally distracting! And how boring for the children to sit an watch tv all day in the next room. Children learn at incredible rates while they are young and a lot of valuable time is being lost as they sit in front of Hannah Montana or wait for the bits and pieces of time mommy can toss their way inbetween phone calls, meetings and paperwork.

Vent away. You have a right to be upset. Talk to your boss. But be sure you bring up valid points that will matter to the company. Just saying it "gets on your nerves" will not be enough to enact policy change, and it makes you look impatient. Instead, point out lost productivity, distraction, unprofessionalism, negative company image that is projected to clients. Also, there is risk to the child and liability for the company. Someone isn't watching the child every single second of the say. What if the child gets hurt on the premises? Don't think it can't happen. I dragged my three-year-old with me to a newspaper, only to drop off my freelance article. As the editor and I talked, I gave my son my keys to distract him. In two seconds, he ran over to an electric socket and started to stick them in the holes! A news reporter screamed and he stopped. But this took place within two seconds with ME right there!

The company will care about is own bottom line!

Good luck!

PS. I agree with Dianna. Some parents feel that kids have a right to be out in public so everyone else should just tolerate them. As a parent, I believe that children should be taught how to behave in public, especially in a small enclosed environment like a restaurant. It is a privilege. If they can't behave, they cannot be allowed to disturb others. My kids learned quickly that if they wanted to go to the movies or restaurants or stores, they needed to behave. Sometimes, there is a training/learning curve. No problem. If they act up, take them out to the car and wait with them until the rest of the family is done or until they settle down. If they want to go back in, they settle down fast. It may not seem "fair" for the parent to lose out as they wait together, but that's the sacrifice a parent makes in order to teach his child. Two-year-olds are learning how to manage their emotions so it wasn't a punishment for them to sit out, but a courtesy to the paying public while giving the child a safe and private place to act out.

Hi CFCW: I too have encountered this scenario multiple times and understand your frustration particularly when it becomes disruptive to your work and more personally, the whispering batter behind the scenes and seeming close to your personal space. I've come to realize that if this instance is only for a few minutes then really unless your boss bans all children in the immediate square block radius there is not much we can do. But if your coworker brings her child in for hours at a time (which I have encountered also), it is okay to gently ask her to either go somewhere else for her visitation and request that she take the decibal levels down a bit. I have done both and yes, you may be met with resistance however it is how the delivery is done. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are many ways to deal with this situation without you coming across as an ogre while maintaining your professionalism and integrity. Also, it puts other parents on notice that you are not a push over and that this is a place of employment not a child care minding center. It all comes down to respect from both parties and respect is unfortunately, we have to teach others how to treat us in return. Good luck and wish you the best in dealing with this.

I totally get where you're coming from!

I think parents build up a tolerance to the constant 'buzzing,' and don't even hear it anymore. However, for those of us unused to the constant noise and such, it's a big disruption/distraction. I think people like your coworker just don't register their child as something that could annoy anyone - WRONG!

It drives me nuts when people bring kids to work, especially the young ones. What makes me more nuts is I'm not allowed to bring my dog to work, and Heidi makes NO noise, does what she's told, and can be crated if required!

Of course, regarding kids and work in general, the other childfree lady that works at my company and I get totally ticked off when people with children are constantly leaving/taking off work! "My kid is sick, I can't come in today" (leaving us to pick up the slack); "I have to leave early/take a long lunch - my kid's doctor's appointment" (I sure would like a ready excuse to leave work whenever I feel like it...). Before you jump down my neck, I DO realize that most often these are legitimate excuses. With my company's liberal and generous 'family time off' policy, however, it is easily (and often, I feel) abused. For the two childfree women who work there, it results in extra stress and work while we have to make up for the missing people, which occurs it seems on a daily basis in one form or another.

Sorry - guess I'm ranting, too!
Karen

Thanks everyone. My boss just came in (wasn't in all day) and told the accountant that it was perfectly fine and lovely music. The other two people in the office are just kind of smiling at how cute she is too.

The accountant isn't a permanent employee and I'm the newest hire here. So since everyone else seems to not mind - I would really have to take the accountant aside and say something to her - which believe me, she is not going to take well no matter how I say it.

I just get annoyed about parents thinking that their kids are as cute and adorable to everyone as they are to them. I totally agree with everyone about the restaurant thing too. There are places that we just won't go because of how many people bring kids.

And yes Karen - I get annoyed about parents getting "passes" more than childfree people. And don't get me started about tax breaks.

My husband works for Coca-Cola, and they usednto allow parents to bring their kids in for a kind of tour of the building.

Until...

One day a 3 or 4 year old boy pushed the big red button (that says do not push except in emergencies) that does an emergency shut down of all the computer systesm in the building - in case of a fire, or a system wide virus, etc. Of course I asked my husband, "Why do they always have to make the buttons big and red, people always want to push them?" But as he pointed out - most other people can read the sign next to it. To a 3 yr old he just sees - "Oh - big fun button!"

Shut down the whole system of course, and they had to do a day of recovery.

Now they do NOT allow children in that part of the building at all - only in "The World of CocaCola" which is really a type of museum anyway, no business done there.

Your boss should definitely do something about this! Your accountant is clearly not getting any work done if she is being distracted by her kid, it's disruptive to your work too. Sadly, it seems like you may be on to a loser there. Might be worth bringing up the insurance issue though.

I used to work in a big office building and people used to sometimes bring in their newborns to show them off to their colleagues, often trailing a toddler behind. Once a little boy got away from his mother, and started exploring. Because he was so little he ducked behind a gantry and nearly fell 40ft to his death - a foot got stuck and his wails alerted a colleage in time. I dread to think what could have happened, certainly he couldn't have survived such a fall. Kids just should not be in these buildings!

Are there any red shiny (but safe) buttons in your building, like the one in Coca-Cola, that you could kindly point out to the offending infant? Failing that, are there any hazards you could point out to your accountant, in order to impress on her that the workplace is NOT a place for a child?

i think it could be a safety issue too. what if some equipment (i don't know what's in your office) fell on the child? employees have OSHA to protect them, but children in the office do not. and that is a risk that your boss is willing to take?

i work in a school, and we have a thousand teens running around. some people used to bring their kids in after pre-school, and would let them sit in their classrooms for half the day. our principal put a stop to that. mainly because teens can get violent, and if a fight broke out, no one wants a toddler getting hurt. besides, i wouldn't want my toddler learning how to behave and talk from teens. ya know? have you heard what comes out of their mouths?

i can see it if the child is there for a couple of minutes while a spouse is on the way to pick them up. but hours? that's just not right in my opinion. it is a distraction, and it can keep people from being productive. take a half-day off instead. and actually use your sick day instead of asking one of us who is childfree to "cover" for you while you leave.

i am so tired of covering classes for people who have to get their kids early or who have to go give meds to their kids at daycare or who have to go to school conferences. instead of leaving and asking me to bail you out and take your workload for you, CALL A SUBSTITUTE and use a sick day. or a half-day. if i have to leave the building for any reason, i call it in. i do the right thing. and it irks me when other people don't.

oh, and the tax breaks get me too. ugh. who's paying for that tax break? does it come from us, the childfree? i'm just asking because i really don't know.