BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Shake your Addiction to "Busy"

A self-help book I was reviewing recently talked at length about how many people in modern times like to feel "busy". It is a badge of honor that you are really busy. The book explains that it is NOT a good thing to be too busy It means you are not giving enough focus to each task that is important to you.

You have 24 hours in a day, just like DaVinci did. Look at what he created, by managing his time well.

I realized that I feel busy all the time, and that it is my own fault. I take on tons of projects. I try to juggle them all and undoubtedly I have issues because I took on 8 too many projects. I should have said "no sorry, maybe in a few months".

So one of the things the book says is to ban the word BUSY from your vocabulary. You are working on things. You choose how you work on things. If you have overscheduled, then fix the problem.

I am going to give that a try! I will try to ban busy from my vocabulary and life. How about you? Do you always feel "busy" and say you're "busy"?

Thank you Lisa for bringing up the immense stressor of busyness, that endless to-do list which we women wear as a badge of honor, yet makes us feel depleted, under-accomplished and disappointed. I have developed a proven 7 step program in my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life to build up immunity to external pressure in the privacy of the home without a therapist and to be processed in an easy pace. The research tips and the tales of recovering "stress junkies" throughout the book demonstrate that there is great productivity in rest. Instead of the endless to-do list - let's take a bow and say, "Look what I did today list." When you carve out time for yourself, you are better able to cope with life's instabilities with a resilient optimism.

The root cause of stress for women is that we need to prove how we can do it all. It's time to take back your power by reviving the hidden girl within - who are you before you became a wife, a mother, a colleague? what do you enjoy doing when you lose track of time? What energizes you?

This is a great topic and i think about this a lot. I am trying to eliminate 'busy' from my life, not just in word but in deed.

I am not naturally a Type A person but it seems I have evolved into one. I need to remember the me I used to be, the one who had time for 'self' things. I need to be more 'selfish' and less 'look at me; i'm a useful person because I am so busy.'

Right exactly Jilly, it is soemthing our society really pushes on us, that we should all be "busy". That if we are NOT busy we are a failure somehow.

Debbie is exactly right that it seems to be worse for women, that we are pushed to excel in a ton of roles. We need to reclaim our lives and be content with choosing what we spend time on

I think I am doing fairly well at not saying I am 'busy'! I had to stop myself several times recently from saying it, and I stopped and thought. I then would say "I have been juggling too many projects and I was able to finish X and Y and reduce my load!" So I sort of feel like I'm spreading the word about trying to NOT be busy.

There was an old saying that went something like: "idle hands are the devil's tools". I do not think idleness and "not busy" are the same. Being "not busy' is something we should allow ourselves to be for part of each day. Taking the time out of our "busyness" to focus on our personal needs or thoughts can be very beneficial to our well-being.

Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Lisa.

That is so true and I think that's part of where people get off track. They don't want to be "idle". They don't want to "waste time". But then they get wrapped up in things that really aren't what they want to do, when spending time "being quiet" (going for a walk, meditating, reading) would be much more valuable to their health!

I love idle moments, the kind where you can relax and let your brain be expansive. But it's hard to allow myself this luxury. And that creates the conundrum of having to 'work' at doing nothing.

I"m guilty of staying busy because I don't like "idle". Someone once told me that I was afraid of standing still. But then I make plans for the future, like going out with friends and at the last minute, I almost always have a change of heart about going so I end up stressing because, I've made socializing plans that I no longer want to do.
Every weekend I tell myself that I'm just going to relax around the house, but when the day comes I feel the need to cram as much into the day as possible.

I think this habit becomes such a problem for women in general due to our ability to be so muti-faceted. Like for instance, I've been sick for the last few days. Can't exercise , but just stay medicated and rest. So today, I get up feeling a bit better and what do I do, try to exercise for at least 15 minutes. Duhhh, the wrong thing to do. I started gettin' dizzy and had to sit down. Which is what I'm doing now on the forum (but am soon to go lay down again).

My point is, I feel like I have to be doing something or I'm being "lazy". Again, another example, I felt like taking a shower last night which made me feel better after having this cold for a few days, so again, what did I do, start putting a load of clothes in the washer. Hubbie came running around the corner, wondering who was starting the washing machine at 10p (it surely wasn't the teenager of the house) and instead, found me doing it. He went off okay. He was like, "aren't you supposed to be in bed....we'll take care of things, just go lay down" and I slowly walked away like a dog with his tail under his you-know-what.

I felt I'd been in bed, I'd looked at things on the DVR and movies and even read some gardening journals (shoulda' been reading my bible). Anyway, I felt I was soooo lazy though I was trying to recover. This always happens to me, especially being an at-home mommie. I'm constantly changing furniture around, organizing, preparing dinner, working in the garden, writing, reading, cleaning. It's non-stop, therefore,the topic of this forum. Too busy. It's gotta' stop. Thanks Lisa for bringing this lil' doosie to the forefront.

Kimmie,
I'm yelling at you gently :-)
I didn't know you were still sick. I remember you mentioning it a few days ago. Sometimes God has a way of telling us we need REST and not be so busy!!!

Women are always trying to be perfect and nurturing and taking care of every "little old thing", constantly staying busy and not taking care of ourselves the way we should. If the clothes didn't get washed last night, the sky wouldn't fall. If you look at the long term, how good will you really be to your family if you don't take care and give yourself a non-busy moment to get well??? mmm? MMM? :-)

I think what you just talked about is an excellent example of the stress that women put on themselves. Follow this thread "shake your addiction to busy" so that you can shake your cold!!!

Take care,
your fitness buddy
d