BellaOnline Forums Family Adolescence Staying Involved Without Being Overbering

How do you stay involved in your adolescent's life without becoming a "helicopter" parent???

yea teens definitely hate it when you're "too involved" I'd just keep talking to them and checking in seeing whats new without being too annoying and asking too many questions! they have to earn your trust!

very true...I have to try to remember what it was like when I was that age and how violated I felt when my mom went "snooping" in my room or checked on me behind my back.

I took cues from my mother-in-law (over 30 years ago). When I was dating my husband (he is the oldest of four); there were always teenagers hanging around. So, as my kids were growing up, my house was always open. Sleepovers? Almost always YES!! Stay for dinner? YES!! Now that they are older, need a ride? YES! Sleepover, check with your parents, then YES! Sometimes, I come up with the ideas (including ride, hee-hee). To my 14 yr old "Do you want to do something on Saturday?" (This does not mean him & I, it means him & a few friends). The options vary, a ride to the mall ( I drop them off, stay at the mall, meet them in a few hours). The best part is the conversations that go in the car, when they think I am not listening... Sometimes, it might mean hanging at my house (hey, ma, we can BBQ for, lunch, right?) Of course! My younger sons know my older sons friends, and my younger daughters friends, also. By being available to be gopher, I don't have to intrude, it just happens, I find out all. ~Lynn913

I think the above is a great idea. I run my daughter, son and friends from house to house and to shops etc and yes you do learn things just by being there.

That's true...being a silent hear can help.