BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage I need to kill the nintendo to save my marrage!!!

I just need help! How od I kill the Nintendo with out having any signs of Murder?
It is New Years DAy and my dh has camped out everyday of his day off in front of the computer or nintendo! Every Weekend and when he comes home from work he plays games until he goes to bed! he doesnt talk to me at all! He is anti Social and when he does talk its about games on myspace and the OLD as in the first ever made Nintendo Nintendo games like M.U.L.E. and Nobienogawa's Ambishion Never heard of these games? Well there is a reason for that they are BORING!!!!
I have put up with these for 3 years now and I feel that it is time to put an end to the nintendo! I have tried discussing this with dh and I have tried everything I know to do and it may work for a day or two and then we are right back to where we started. Believe me when I say that Muder is the only way to save my marrage at this point! and if this doesnt work I will file for divorce on the grounds that my dh is cheating on me with myspace games and nintendo games!

Please have mercy on me and tell me how to kill the nintendo. I will disconnect the internet servies at the house tomorrow but I still need to kill the other one! Please help me kill my dh's mistress!

Do you have any 2 yr olds that could accidentally "feed" it a PB&J sandwich? Or Poptarts? Thst works really well with VCRS!

Also kids of this age lite to pretend the box is a "bank" - and the keep shoving monye in. You basically have to rip the entire thing apsart to get all of the peniies out of there.

Maybe check with Dale, ur home improvement guy on this one - but couod yoiu change the amperage out on juts thst one are so that the game "fries"

I'm out of sneaky iedease - unless you just want to go oldfshioned with the baseball bat - but that gets kind of messy.

Another thought - why don't you get a nintendo for yourself and find something YOU like playing while he's playing his games - then you can socialise while gaming:), compare progress and so on. I'm a gamer myself and it really is exciting even with something fairly mundane to see a high score racking up on the screen.

At least he's home. He could be going out all of the time drinking and carousing or looking at porn on the internet or talking with other women and maybe even eventually cheating on you. Is a Nintendo really the grounds you want to use for divorce? Is that the only problem in your marriage? Does he have a Nintendo Gamecube? If so, buy a Mario Party game and play with him. Those are fun because it is like a live board game.

Talk with him about it again. Let him know how serious you are about leaving him because he plays video games. Tell him you want equal time and if he doesn't give it to you, then pack your stuff and go to your parents or somewhere for a couple of days without contacting him. Let him contact you. If you go a whole weekend without him contacting you, then he does care about the games more than you. Set up a schedule. Tell him to spend time with you for a couple of hours and he can play his games for a couple of hours. Hide the power cords until he sits down and has a serious talk with you about this. Make sure he knows you are serious. Pack a couple of suitcases and leave them by the front door while he is working.

When he comes home and sees the bags there, he will ask what is going on. Tell him you need to have a serious talk with him and sit him down and talk to him about the gaming. Tell him if things don't change, you are leaving him. Don't tell him he can't play at all but tell him you want equal time. Video games can be a welcome escape for people from a stressful day or week at work. Why don't you take up a hobby like scrapbooking or something and you can be doing that while he is playing games or go out shopping with the girls or lunch or something. When he does want to spend time with you, tell him you can't right now because you have other things to do and maybe he will see how it feels.

Your marriage could be worse off you know. He could be cheating or abusing you. You haven't told us how long you have been married or how young or old you both are. I am 45 and I enjoy video games too. I don't enjoy them so much that it takes time from other things but I do play as much as I can.

With all of the serious issues that married couples face today, is a Nintendo really that important? Is it really worth losing your marriage over?

I liked my PB&J idea

Well, of course you did, Michelle. You are all about destruction. lol.

I preferred the "if you can't beat them join them" one :)but of course it's up to the lady who posted to decide what SHE wants to do.

LOL! You guys are too funny! And let me be the first to admit, that I know your situation all too well!

In all seriousness though, this "little problem" can, indeed, lead to major marital discord, including divorce. It isn't a matter of excess game playing. There are other serious considerations like addiction (and the problems that stem from that) and neglect (which leads to further relationship breakdown.)

Game playing, even in excess, doesn't have to be a problem, but here are some red flags found in your message:

1. He is antisocial. Why and how? Is this new or a change in behavior? Is he by nature a more introverted person? Or does he have a problem relating to others? Does this cause him any stress or discontent?

2. He "doesn't talk to you at all." Big problem. Again, is this a new bahavior? Did he talk to you before?

3. This behavior has continued for three years.

4. You've tried talking to him and it only helps for a day or two.

You need to understand if your husband's game playing is an addiction or if it is an interest. A lot of people have hobbies that are enjoyable even if they are a bit obsessive (collectors, etc.) A true addiction is when a person can't stop engaging in the activity without causing major stress.

First of all, it will be detrimental for you to attempt complete abstinence from all game playing, cold turkey. Try your best not to deliver any ultimatums. It will only add more stress which can send your husband into more game playing to escape from his problems.

Of course, one-on-one counseling would be best for both of you. But, in the common event that he won't go, you can try the tips offered in an article I wrote on the BellaOnline Marriage site. Go to the Marriage site and click on "Married to a Cyber Addict?"

Try not to make him feel guilty for playing. Playing isn't the problem. Playing too much is the problem!

I pointed out to my husband where the playing was robbing his real life of good times and good accomplishments and that he could "have it all" including game time, if he made conscious choices: Choose how long he wants to play before he logs on. It became obvious that 8 hours a session was too much.

I started out by suggesting cutting down his playing time to half for the week PLUS, one day a week without ANY computer time at all so we could enjoy outdoor or other activities...PLUS Friday nights when we had Date Night.

And then, when we talked, I learned that he would enjoy going back to school so I encouraged taking just one night class to start. Now, he wants to earn his doctorate. It got his attention turned to something more productive.

Sure he still plays but it is no longer out-of-control.

Game playing is irresistible. And it can get out of control easily. But killing the Nintendo is like murdering a mistress of a sex addict. He'll get another.

But cold turkey can work for some people. It worked for my friend's husband who treated it like alcoholism. He stays away completely and realizes now how much life he lost to his game playing. But it seems rather extreme to me. He actually views game playing as a form of evil.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Something else I thought of, after reading Lori's post (and I'm being serious this time)

Sometimes people with ADD and ADHD cna play video games for long stretches of time. It is because the visuals are constantly changing for them, and they don't have to actively pay attention to a person - that is much harder, it requires a different part of the brain.

So I wonder if possibly your husband might be ADD. Many adults do not realize they have it. They just think they are absent-minded or forgetful, or else they find a job that actually works for them.

This is just a thought.

Well I disconected the internet at the house on the grounds that they wanted me to pay double.. and the nintendo must have fell off its stand because it doesnt work anymore... (REad that as I am not paying for internet serves so he can ignore me and I droped the nintendo about 14 times until it makes a happy noise sound that means it wont play anymore. I spent three nights on the couch and told my husband that he will be my full time husband or my no time husband because I am not going to have a part time husband. this is game problem is a three year long problem but looking back he used his sister as a way to not spend time with me and then I had a talk with him and told him that It was one thing to want to help sil with fixing stuff but to leave in the middle of dinner and drop everything to go over there and move the couch so she can plug in her lamb was another! he can want to go over there until after dinner and this happened every night and then he would get home set down to eat and she would call again for something else just as stupid that she could do my herself keep in mind at the time she had 2 teen boys and a husband of her own so its not like she is a little old lady that needed someone to pick her off the floor and take her to the hospital!