I can relate to you completely, BellaBabe! And what would be better than an accountant is a counselor, believe it or not.
We need to go back and see how our financial beliefs were formed. There are emotional and psychological roots at the base of our financial attitudes.
Many of the financial experts address how unproductive beliefs about money trip us up. Financial mismanagement is like overeating. We have to learn why we spend or can't manage money well.
My husband really learned a lot about our financial attitudes that were formed by our childhood experiences. I had to undo some unhealthy beliefs. Some came from my religious upbringing about money being the root of evil; others came from the problems that money caused in my childhood.
When I did earn money, I would be too free with it. Overly generous, literally just throwing it away. Now, I learned that money isn't evil. It is okay to have it and want it and use it.
I control money. It does not control me.
I also learned that there are lots of ways to serve others and show my love for them that is more meaningful than unnecessary gifts or cash. And that people should like me regardless of whether I give them money or things.
Also, when my little boy was dying, we spent every penny on today! Now that he is gone, old habits didn't die with him. Comforting ourselves today is still the norm.
There is so much more to my twisted psyche, but I'll spare you the details!
The thing is, if we don't understand our financial belief system, we'll just repeat former patterns.
Ask yourself:
What do I believe about money?
What do I spend on and why?
How does having money make me feel?
How does not having money make me feel?
Then, set little goals. I started out by tithing first and then setting just a tiny bit in an account that I refuse to touch. Actually, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I had to have my mom oversee this account! No one knows about it (it is a healthy financial secret I keep from my spouse!) Just a tiny amount builds up over time. It is still my spouses's money, too. I'm not hording it. He'll be quite happy come the day he learns about it!
I wish I listened to my father, who was an accountant and an excellent money manager. He told me decades ago when I was in my early 20s to set aside money so that by the time I was 60, it would accrue to over a million dollars. Did I listen? No. He also recommended I buy a house which today, even with the crash, would have netted a profit of $300K. I am such a dope.
I won't be 60 for a long while so maybe there is some hope.