BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement Dealing with Loss During the Holidays

My mother died of cancer when I was very young, and I've missed her terribly every since. Even now that I'm grown I especially miss her during the holidays.

We (my dad, brother and I) have always talked about her often which has been healthy. Since she loved the Christmas so much we talk about some of the fun things she would do to make the holidays extra special.

How about you? How do you deal with the Holidays after the loss of a loved one?

Eulogy Speech

Malika, I'm very sorry for your loss. Holidays are very hard for many of us. My 13yr old son was killed in 1985 to this day I have difficulty with the holidays. Its always a lonely time of the year for me. I miss him so much.
God bless you and your family, I hope you can find peace within your heart!
Rosie

Malika and Skyhaven, may God's peace and comfort be with you both.

Malika,thank you for starting this topic. I, too, have been trying not to cry today as this day marks the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him greatly. He was my first boy(friend),he truly schooled me on lil' boys' minds and I appreciate him and miss him dearly.

My heart is touched by his presence daily and I will never forget the memories he gave me (the oldest) and my remaining seven siblings. I wanted to call my moms today and talk to her about him but did not want to sadden her day but I think I should as we can reminisce the good times he gave all of us. He was a good and caring husband to my mother and the father of all eight of her children.

Not everyone can say that proudly today. I guess it's okay to cry and be sad. His memory will be especially sensitive in my heart today.

Both of your stories touched my heart as I can relate to a void of someone's love that is dear and close to me. No one will ever replace our loved ones that have gone on and no one should.

Happy Holidays and God bless you all that chimes in with related and touching stories to share. Bye.

This will be our first Christmas without our son. He was born on Christmas day so that makes it a bit harder and he also died on my birthday in August. Right now we have his little girl but she will be going back to her mom in January. I think life will be even harder then. I just try to think of all the good memories and we talk about him a lot. Every day that goes by I miss him so...God bless you all

My daughter recently moved to Florida; she is 19. She immediately struck up a friendship with a young 19 year old girl who was just married. She got pregnant right off, but miscarried. Two weeks after the miscarriage, Thanksgiving weekend 2008, she was driving with her husband and 16 year old sister. A drunk driver hit them head on killing himself along with my daughter's new friend. Her husband and sister were seriously hurt but will come out of it physically ok. My daughter was so upset; she really liked this girl. And, she is feels so bad for her husband who not only just lost his first baby, but now his wife. He doesn't have many family members on his side, so he is alone now.

It has been a challenge to comfort her with this loss, especially now during the Holidays. I try to tell her time will make it better, but right now she can't see past her pain. All I can do is listen when she wants to talk. I appreciate all of you sharing your comments.

Tina

I just read all of your posts. Im so sorry for your losses as I have lost my husband in 2005. It was 3 years on December 16th. We were married 8 months when he died. Its been hard trying to get thru that day, but I made it. I know spiritually, he's still here and it brings comfort to me. Holidays tend to be a hard time for many people who have lost their loved ones. Its a comfort to be able to talk about him especially during this time because it helps me to focus on the good things.

I find it helpful to honor our loved ones during this time by lighting a candle for them, at church having a service said in memory of our loved ones, planting a tree in memory of that person. There are many ways to keep the memories alive.

Happy Holidays to you all.

Julie

My prayers go out to everyone who has suffered a loss in their lifetime/family/friends etc. I lost my mom when i was 3 (i am now 42 - she died of cancer) I am the youngest of 6 kids - and we're all grown with families of our own. My father remarried - and i gained 2 step-sisters which was really cool! 4 1/2 years ago my father passed away -it's sooooo hard as he died young (75) and then 6 months later my step-mother passed.....i was there for my step siblings and for my own siblings. Shortly after my step mother's death - my husband's nana passed away (she was 97) I truly believe they are all in a better place. Doesn't make it easier.

Especially at this time of year - i give thanks to what THEY all gave me. Their gifts to me - and there are several. I am grateful to have had them in my life - even my mom- who i really don't remember because i was so young. I am fortunate to have a close relationship with my mom's sisters and it helps as they remind me of my mom.

When i became a mom was when i really started to miss her. I was fortunate to have a wonderful mother in law - who treated me like her daughter - but it wasn't the same. I always tell my kids to be thankful EVERYDAY - that they have each other - because one day - they will only have each other.

Funny story (but kinda sad)....last xmas i was shopping at Walmart.....and it was busy - and i wasn't really thinking straight - and here i was standing in line and pulling out my purchases and noticed i had a Merry Xmas card for my parents -and i started bawling....literally - crying my eyes out. The poor cashier didn't know what to say - but this kind older lady behind me patted me and said 'you lost your parents didn't you'......that was it! The flood gates opened.

It happens at odd times that i miss them all....something could happen that reminds me of them....or i see a program -especially at this time of year. When i was a kid - my dad's FAVOURITE night was xmas eve.....we would pop popcorn - and have pop (we didn't normally have this stuff during the year) and we would settle down to watch It's a Wonderful Life - with Jimmy Stewart - the really old one? I used to hate it when i was a kid - it was so old.....but EVERY xmas eve since then - i HAVE to watch it......my husband even got me a special edition CD last xmas...but i like watching it on TV.

Everyone have a wonderful holiday season and know that they are all in a good place....a peaceful place....

Happy Holidays to you too. I'm sorry for your loss. May God be with you to find comfort.

Just remember, we're only here temporary. We all will be together again.

Julie