BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids my mother finally really accepts this

Last night, via IM, my mom finally agreed that it's good i didn't have kids. She said i am too involved with me and my own wants to be a good mother. i agreed wholeheartedly.

She said "it's all about YOU."

And I said, "it's all about meeeeeeee."

And we both laughed and she said I was very cute.

I turn 41 this year so i guess her hopes are about gone by now anyway.

Yea! I don't think my parents will ever accept my decision. And they don't even know about it yet!

That's awesome, Jilly!

Good for you....my parents really werent the family members I had that much trouble with, it was my grandmother and my aunts on my dad's side of the family, and oh now my mother in law and sister in laws.....they are quite confused on the "no kids" concept......

My parents have accepted it in theory, but it doesn't stop them from telling me all the "news" from my hometown (read: "Sue is pregnant with her 2nd baby, and Jenny just had her 3rd!") Recently as my mom was relaying me this news, I could hear my dad in the background saying, "Except you, everybody is having babies!"

(The little devil in me said "Oh yeah? That's ok, none of them are getting PhDs so I guess we're even.")

Hahaha Shnicky! That is great!

I think I have been pretty lucky with my parents. My mom has known about as long as I have that I don't want children. She has always been supportive and understanding. My dad has never really said anything to me about it at all, so I am pretty sure he understands as well. Even my future MIL is pretty understanding. Although, every once in a while I catch little remarks from SIL.

Mostly, it is non-family people that I meet, that can't understand why.

It's weird that right now so many of the last holdouts against children are busy having babies. It must be a last chance thing. Now that I and my cohorts are in mid-30s to early 40's, it's the AMAZING LAST CHANCE RACE to motherhood.

Yeesh. New babies everywhere I look. Why do people find them so interesting? i just don't see it.

I'm with you, Jilly. I can hardly describe the disappointment I feel over and over again as friends who have been steadfastly childfree cave in to having children. It's no wonder people always tell me, "You'll change your mind."

I, on the other hand, still do not understand the appeal of babies... in fact, being around them causes me a great deal of anxiety (maybe I have paedophobia?). Every day I am thankful for my tubal ligation!

I think most of my family has now accepted that I will not have children, but there are a few relatives who still like to get in those passive-aggressive digs every now and then. But, similar to yotagrl22re's story, it's people outside the family who give me the hardest time.

I agree also. Babies are everywhere! We used to live in Colorado, but we moved almost 4 years ago. We are planning on moving back this spring, and almost all of our friends there have kids now. None of them did when we moved. I have 1 friend left that doesn't have kids, but she will be changing that very soon. Bleck! We will have to find some new friends that share our idea on kids.

I get kind of uncomfortable around babies too. Most of the time I am scared I'm going to get puked on or something.

I was just talking to one of my aunts, and she was asking about my progress with school etc and then asked when we were planning to have kids. She said my parents were waiting and waiting for this. I said, "Actually I don't think they're waiting anymore. They've pretty much accepted it!" I mean this woman's husband left her after her 3rd child was born and she had to struggle to raise them alone...you would think she'd understand.

It's funny what you've all said...the parents seem fine with it, but people outside the immediate family members have the problems.