BellaOnline Forums Relationships Dating Have no idea what's going on with this guy!

HI,
I do hope that you ended this relationship. I agree with all of the above advice. No one knows for sure. But to me it seems as if he did have something intimate to do with her before & maybe even now. You have to trust yourself & when you feel something is not right. You usually are right. This man sounds immature & very rigid. The type of person who will not compromise & then make it out to be your problem.

No woman or man deserves this kind of treatment. He is the 1 who is weird, not you. I find it hard to trust people with the way things are today. There are many wonderful people in the world. But then there are many who are just into themselves, self-gratification & always what is best for them. I am married & had platonic male friends & my husband does have platonic female friends. Let me tell you it is very platonic. We do not give them massages,backrubs & include them in our life every chance we get.

So, I really hope that you drop this man for your own well being. I also would end all contact with him. As Vance mentioned if they are not doing anything now, it will soon happen. Also there are so many decent, kind, men that you could be with. Don't waste your time on a man who loves to play games. I wish you the best of luck. Have a good weekend too. Judy K.

Yes, you are correct, and I believe the relationship has ended on its own. Ever since I told him I was not comfortable with the "trio," he has ceased to contact me...and I am fine with that. You are right on the nosey when you said he was too rigid and uncompromising and would make everything out to be my fault. That is exactly what he does. And I do not deserve that. Unfortunately, I tend to see only the good side of people and not the bad...or perhaps I do not pay attention the bad. I try to give everyone a chance, and in many cases, I give too many chances.

What is really difficult about the situation is that I AM friends with the girl. She is very nice, fun, and I sort of see myself as something of a big sister to her. She also just found out she is going to be leaving for an internship in the Northeast next semester, which will be a FANTASTIC opportunity for her. I wonder, when she is gone, whether this guy will come knocking on my door again. You can be certain that if he does, I will NOT be at home!

Thanks everyone. Your suggestions and support are very much appreciated, and have reaffirmed my belief in my own intuition.

You know what else? When people call you names like "weird," they're often just trying to throw you off--put you on the defensive. He probably hoped to get you so wrapped up in "proving" you're not the weird one that you would give him a free pass to pursue his odd behavior.

It's been a while since I first posted about this, but I wanted to update y'all and let you know that I did, in fact, ditch this guy. He's truly a jerk (and a liar), and I EVEN found out (thanks to a friend in law enforcement) that he had been arrested a few years ago for engaging in sexual relations with a 14-year-old girl!!! This guy is a total CREEP (and, in fact, is still on supervised probation which means he was living in my town illegally!)...the only nice thing about him are his looks, and quite frankly, even those aren't anything to write home about. All this makes his little friendship with the 21-year-old even MORE disgusting and bizarre! YIKES. In my opinion, this guy should be in JAIL.