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Since I posted the thread a lot has happened....We have had a big discussion about what it will take for us if we want to make this a permanent partnership.

He has been living with me for about 9 months and his boys(when he has them every other wkend and every Mon/thurs) since July. I have not asked for any money to help w/ the bills until last month. He seriously has not a pot to pee in and couldn't afford anything on his own since the divorce(final 1yr ago, which he got taken for a ride). Some changes need to be made for this to work and I have been completely raw,open and honest with him on what it will take for us to be together including compromises on both ends.

The ex and I get along and she has told me how much the boys like me and she appreciates that. She has no idea about how I feel about her(who I really have little respect for personally)or the issues my boyfriend and I have discussed. I want them/us to have a good relationship however, I don't feel they should be personal friends and chit chat on a daily basis(not involving the kids). The issues are more with him with just going along with the flow even he doesn't want to. He does not like confrontation and will make everyone happy before himself. But his life has changed and therefore situations need to follow that change. Things are going in the right direction and I'm trying to patient and let him do what it is he needs to.

Sorry this is a late post. Thanks for feedback.

Wouldn't life be easier if you and the bf/gf were friends with the ex?

I have heard of people complaining because of the drama with the ex and this is the first time I have heard people complaining about the ex being friends.

Your SO prolly shouldnt be talking to the ex everyday, especially when it takes time from you but I think life would be easier with the ex being friendly. Maybe you can talk to your SO about this and how you feel about him/her talking to the ex everyday and how it makes you feel uncomfortable but do not demand he/she stops talking to them because that will only cause animosity.

Wantobstronger - Does your bf work? If he does, why can he not help out with the bills? He is living with you and that should definitely take priority. You didn't give us any info about that.

There is another free dating site called Plenty of Fish

I have to agree with Vance. Keeping things friendly with the ex is probably the way to go, especially since there are kids involved.

On the other hand, there is a big difference between keeping things friendly and being a little too friendly for comfort.

Wantobstronger, it sounds to me like you need to have a heart to heart with your bf and let him know how you are feeling about this and about the contributions he is or isn't making to the home you are sharing.

Remember that a relationship is a partnership so it's important to keep the lines of communication open and to keep things fair and balanced between you.