BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image How do you develop healthy selfishness?

This week's feature article is called "Developing Healthy Selfishness" because we all need to take care of ourselves!

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Healthy selfishness.....hmmmm. I dunno. I work so hard in being a wife and mother. I just started back frequented the salon and since most of the year, I'm in the garden, my hands tend to take a beating but its all okay. After reading your article, maybe I should take an approach at this type of selfishness. Thanks and good article.

This is good to remember to take a little time for yourself sometimes... you have to remind women of this because they are usually taking care of everyone except for themselves.

Your spa day sounded terrific!

I totally agree that a healthy selfishness is necessary to survive. I care for and about others but if you try to take on their suffering too closely it can incapacitate you and them too.

I think in order to really help others you need to keep a little objectivity to it. My father is currently having health problems and is in pain. I sympathize with him and care about him but I also try not to take on his pain as I can't then help him very well.

I guess that comes from years of doing medical work. I cared about patients but unless you acquire a certain healthy selfishness you can't even function in that environment.

I don't know how to develop healthy selfishness other than I take a hot lavender-scented bath every night with candles lit all around me (sometimes I add a nice white wine) on the side.

Although when I'm creating in my art room and am totally in the zone, I think I'm absorbed in what you are calling healthy selfishness because I'm able to tune everything and everyone out. Also when I'm meditating.

But other than that, I'm always a wife and a mother first. Even with my son in college, if he calls me, I drop what I'm doing and take care of whatever he needs right away. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I definitely know I need to do that. I just have to start.

It's good to know there are other moms out there that appreciate the blessing of being a mother 24/7. I do the same thing with my daughter in college. Happy harvest everyone.