BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Bad advice makes me sad.

I just found a post on another website that made me sad. A 22-year-old guy was excited that he finally had the money for a vasectomy, but was worried about telling his big religious family and his girlfriend who he knew eventually wanted kids. EVERY single response told him to wait because he would change his mind. One jerk even went so far as to say at his age he "shouldn't" be making that kind of decision. Um, last time I checked, 22 was a legal adult pretty much anywhere you go. Ugh. Unfortunately, the post was from 5 months ago. I hope the guy went through with it anyway.

I hate that "you'll change your mind" [censored]. Haven't changed it since I was 10 years old, thanks. I'm 28 now. Don't hold your breath!

I'm wondering why he felt he had to tell his parents esp. when he knew they would be against it. He's a grown adult for gawd sakes, JEEZ. As far as the girlfriend ~ it's high time he sat down with her and spit it out that he wants to remain childfree.
Grow up young man, grow up! IMO

I know a plastic surgeon who made a woman look like a cat.

How about tattoos for teenagers?

A 22-year-old can get his . . . blown off in a war, but not snipped in a doctor's office.

Go figure.

That's the thing I hate the most too. Most people don't say to 22 year-olds who are having kids "you're too young to make that decision." I would never tell a person, "you had a baby, you'll change your mind later though, and you won't want it anymore." Deciding to have a baby is just as big as a decision as deciding not to have one and get sterilized.

I still hear the "you'll change your mind" argument at age 35. And my dad, who was an operating room nurse, flat out told me when I was in my early 20s that they routinely refused to do tubal ligations or vasectomies if the person was under 25. Their reason was that they had to do so many reversal procedures when people changed their minds. Some people have firm opinions about things, though (myself included), even at a young age, and it's annoying to be grouped in with all the people sitting on the fence about things.

Young people are often assumed to know nothing. The research ethics board at the university where I work will not allow anyone under 19 to participate in an interview or survey without parental consent. I mean, as Ken pointed out above...it's ok to join the military (not to mention get married, vote in a federal election or own a home) but not do an interview without mommy's consent?

I haven't changed my mind on the kid issue since I was about 12 or 13.

I hate being in that group, too. I've talked to my gyn about sterilization. While she seemed to respect my choice, and believed that I wouldn't change my mind, she did say that she was wary of doing any kind of procedure until someone is at least 30 because she's seen so many women who all of a sudden reach that age and want kids when they never expected to. I'm going to bring it up again next time I'm at her office. Meanwhile, hubby's looking into getting a vasectomy, which should be easier for him to get than a tubal would be for me. But that's a whole different argument.

But really. Why does 30 seem to be the magic number? I'm 28. My husband is 29. I highly doubt that after knowing for 18 years that I wanted no part of the whole parenting thing that 12-24 months is going to make that big a difference.

I do have children. I had my son when I was 21 and my daughter when I was 22. The year after my daughter was born, I went to have my works turned off... cut, tied, and burned.

I am 44 now and not a day has gone by that I have regretted my decision. Of course, that may be because I have children. But, I think that people, even early on, have an idea of what they want in life.

Ken, This will sure to make you go huh? My husband went in to get a vasectomy. The Doctor told him his wife will have to sign off on the form.

After trying for ten years, we did get preg, we have a nine year old boy. We new this was good and into our forties, we thought,this was good, he came home upset at the thought that I had to sign.

Women can make every decision about wether or not to have a child, not even have to tell the father, and yet in our state the law say's he cannot have a vasectomy without the wifes signature..

This sounds like physician posturing to me. I cannot imagine that this would be legal anywhere. No one has the right to say what some-one can or cannot do with their body. I would imagine that if this were taken to court, the doc would back down. But it is like a bully - they count on you NOT calling their bluff.

I find it odd that people would deny sterilization, etc when kids are allowed to have sex changes nowadays. I mean, come on. If a child is allowed to make such life altering choices at such a young age, why should anyone be allowed to dictate if you should or should not be sterilized?

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