BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Adult Stepchildren and Money

I need some advise. I have a 24 year old stepdaughter who manipulates my husband into paying her bills and uses his name and credit to open ultilites on contracts...

For example, before we were married, my husband entered into a cell phone contract and added the two, now adult, daughters to his contract. The minimum contract time has lapsed, but he continues to pay for all three phones and the company is different than my cell phone. So, I have to watch the amount of time I spend on the cell phone with my own husband.

Well, the 24 year old daughter is asking her dad to get her a new phone (which will renew the contract for another two years), because her phone is broken. When I suggested he let her get her own phone contract now, and that it's time we consolidate our phones now, he responded with, "she can't afford to pay for her cell phone and she needs it to put on applications".

I am fed up. Should I just surprise my husband and add him to my contract (port his number) and force the issue, or should I argue some more about it, or leave it alone and let him continue to pay for her phone?

This is the same daughter who lived with us Rent Free for three months and whom I ended up kicking out because I found out she was bullying my 14 year old (this was back in August).

What kind of credit history does your stepdaughter have? A cell phone would be something good to help build her credit. Her dad putting it all in his name is truly not helping her out when it comes to teaching her responsibility and establishing her own credit. He needs to cut the apron strings and let her get her own contract. If he wants to help her initially set that up, great, but I would push for her to get it in her name and make her the responsible party and if she blows it, it is on her. By 24, a cell phone should not be that big of a deal. Does she not have a home/landline phone? You said he said she HAS to have it to put it on applications, but if she has a landline, I don't see it as a "have to have". So even that argument doesn't float with me. Is there a reason why they are all on one carrier and you are on a different carrier? Why don't you have them switch if her contract is up anyway? It would be a perfect time for her to switch over. Or perhaps when your contract is up, you could switch carriers. I see that as being a minor issue in comparison to him encouraging her lack of responsibility. By 24 she should be able to hold down a job, even if it is McD's or waitressing somewhere and pay for her own cell phone.

Unless your broke, just put up with it. At least she isn't leeching off you by living in your house anymore. How did you manage to get her out? I am in the same situation with my husband's 22 year old, moved back to "go to school" and has drifted from one crummy job to the next to support her partying. The last job was 8 weeks and though she cleared 600. a week, she wouldn't pay even 50. a week in rent, and of course my husband didn't have the gonads to make her. I don't know why we put up with these situations. Makes me wonder.

i am the mother of 3 boys - and their father and i divorced 10 years ago....they are 21,18 and 15. I remarried 5 years ago - to a wonderful guy - who had never been married and no children - not only was he stepping into my world - but he's had to deal with my ex-husband and his MANY girlfriends. Our 18 year old (and i say our because he's been more of a father to them than their own father) decided when he turned 13 to live with his abusive alcoholic father - against my wishes - but he left. 2 years ago - after being threatened by his father - he wanted to move back in with us. My husband (god love him) said that's fine - but there are rules. My son agreed. Their father has gone in and out of their lives for the past 10 yrs...mostly out...for the past year my ex has had very little contact with my 18 year old.....the problem? BEcause my ex has become involved in their lives yet again - they have started to treat my husband [censored].

My middle son attends college (of which i paid for) -got laid off from his last job - uses my truck (of which he hasn't pd insurance for 2 mths because of no job) got his phone taken away - because it was under my husbands name....there have been many things.....my ex started saying things - and then voila - the other day my son says - im going to live with dad -i don't like the rules here.....long story short - he sent several text msg to my husband calling him an assortment of names - saying he hated him - he's a loser - and my mom is going to leave your [censored]......

I didn't teach him to talk this way. This is the reason i didn't want him around his father....but the damage is done. Now what do i do? My ex's girlfriend sent me a message on facebook telling me that i have to 'listen' to my son - that all he needs is someone to listen to him and that i was choosing love over my children! I was so upset - but i didn't justify it with an answer - why - because i've been through 3 girlfriends of my ex's - 2 of which have charged him with assault - and he now lost his license to a DUI. He is living in her house - not his - and he works sporadically - which means he doesn't pay support on time.

My son has treated his step-father and me and his brothers disrespectfully - and he has taken no accountability. I blame myself at times - why - because i felt so guilty about the divorce and everything else - i think i let him be an [censored]. Does that sound right? I let my son treat my husband like [censored] - and now he won't talk to me.....he says i need to leave him alone to figure out things. My ex says it's only a matter a time until the 15 yr old leaves (the 21 yr old is on his own) and really upset with his brother - and how he's acting.

So i so get where you're coming from. I have enabled my son to treat my husband like this. I should've stopped being afraid of him leaving and just stuck to the rules. As it was - i told him that either he followed the rules or he could pack his stuff and leave. Now i find out he'd planned on leaving before i'd said anything - but told everyone i kicked him out. HELP!