BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Children *The Only* topic of conversation

Sometimes it may be that the parents have been involved in their kid's lives so much -that they forget there are other topics out there, LOL!

Maybe the next time someone gets on a conversation about their kids you can snag on something else in the sentenc ("Oh, speaking of movies, have you seen?....") and get a conversation going that you can be involved in.

Most of us parents actually want some adult time, but it is just hard to get the mind in "relax" mode. If you give some of your childed friends another topic to hop on - they might be very thankful!

Thank you Rosie and Michelle. It's nice to be in this forum.

Hi Michelle yes I think most of the time parents are just so involved with their children they dont know they are boring some people with their constant conversation about their offspring.I find it mind numbingly boring but at the same time as a friend I do take some interest as their children are their life and I like to show some interest in something that makes them so happy. Sometimes though I do feel a little left out if I am around a group of mums and the only topic seems to be their children.

So just to echo this threads topic, a friend from high school recently found me on face book.

We spent a day or two going back and forth about military lives, her recent surgery, my life in sc. She mentioned her 3 children; their ages, year in school names etc and asked if I had kids. I said no unless you would like to count our 4 dogs and parade of fosters. She hasn't replied since. This was weeks ago.

ugh.

I feel your pain Wendy. It's so hard! Sometimes I almost feel like a leper. This past weekend we spent with our friends and their children. As usual, the guys went outside and hung out while the girls were left with the kids. I wanted to scream. My husband has been really supportive and came in and sat by me but that just made me feel worse! I cried the whole way home. WHat is wrong with me??

NOTHING is wrong with YOU!!! That is why all the kidfree sites are typically women sites. The men do seem to be able to have a carefree life childfree or not. The women even in this century still cart around the kids even if they work just as much if not more than the men outside the home. This is why it is so darn hard to make (and keep) female friends. They cart their kids with them everywhere (even when you meet for lunch or something) and then are only half with you as most of their focus of course is on the kids!!! That situation you were in was [censored]!! I would have been really upset too!! Such double standards!! I sure wish all of us kidfree chics on here could meet up in person- then we could make some "real" friends who are able to be with use 100%. We should somehow make a poll of where each of us (childfreers) is located and see if anyone out there is close enough to meet up for coffee or something.
After writing that I just saw another thread that mentioned Meetup.com and checked it out. It is exactly what I was talking about!! There are some around Chicago where I am from and they meet up at a Panera coffee shop!

I am 44 years old and made the decision years ago not to have children. I am married to a man who was married before, and has 3 children by his first wife. I don't regret my decision because I know it was the best thing for me. Anyway, the problem I am dealing with is this...my best friend (who swore she would never have children) had a child 8 years ago. I've always been supportive of that in every way I could, but the more time passes the more I notice she never has time for me anymore. She has all but disappeared into the life of a suburban mom, constantly on the road in her SUV carting her daughter to ballet, brownies, parties, etc. If I call, she asks to call me back and never does. Visits for the two of us alone have become non-existent. Even her tone has changed when we do talk...sort of like she expects me to say I haven't been up to anything and that there is nothing new in my life. She wants to hit stores to sniff out bargains on kid's clothes instead of some place an adult without kids would like to go. I'm losing her and I swear I don't know how to change it. They've got her...She's one of them now.

I wish I had a nickel for every time someone had asked "Do you have children?" or "When are you going to have children?"

I'm 44 but I'm sure I could retire.

I get so tired of wearing that fake smile, and trying to listen while people go on and on about their kids. I don't think my parents talked about us that much. No, I'm sure they didn't. And we certainly weren't allowed to stay in the room where adults were talking. Nothing they said made sense to us anyway. Some parents carry on disturbing conversations in front of their kids all the time. I've even heard their kids shouting out advice to them! It's ridiculous.

Many parents talk too much about their kids and get way too involved in their kids lives. The bottom line is that many parents actually, disturbingly act like and consider themselves "friends" with their own children. That is why the conversations are so bizarre these days. Our parents certainly never let down their role of actually being a mature adult and PARENT to us!! Therefore they didn't feel the need to go on and on; overinvolved in the life of a little child! Many parents are getting their needs met (one of them sadly is excessive attention) through their kids. When the conversation is 'look at what my kid did..' they are little mini-mes so I should get the attention and the credit and don't you want to hear all about it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm sorry about your crummy weekend jvo37! If it were me, I would have probably gotten into an argument (especially about that 'vain' comment) and just left.

That reminds me of when DH and I hang out around with his brother, (mean) wife, and 2 kids. My SIL is a miserable person who always seems angry. They married "because she was pregnant" even though their relationship was on the rocks before. She admitted to me she was unsure about having the kid (my nephew) and I told her there were choices. She then went running back to BIL and told him "I told her to have an abortion." Gah. But they are not happily married and I think she blames my nephew for "ruining her life" and was mad because she didn't have a girl. A few tumultuous years later, she has her wanted girl. Suprise, suprise, no magical fix to the marriage though.

At least the kids are mostly grown now and don't hang out at home that much.

But I feel your pain! Hang in there CF Sister!

Tarah
Tubal Ligation 2000