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Oh, that is just too funny! I also wanted to be a boy when I was a kid...in fact my childhood "profession of choice" was being a cowboy.

I still remember the day when my aunt decided to sort me out and told me that I could grow up to be a cowgirl but could never be a cowboy. Well, I sure sorted her out fast and let her know in no uncertain terms that there was no way I was going to be a cowgirl and wear those stupid skirts, nope - I would be a cowboy so I could wear jeans all the time and would never have to wear a stupid skirt again in this life!

This aunt still insisted that I could not ever be a cowboy. Well, she was right in a sense....turned out I really didn't care all that much for cows. So I grew up to be a sheep farmer instead. And I live in my jeans


40 seems to be the age for serious rethinking of the decision not to have kids. I don't know why this is so, but it is. Perhaps it's the old biological clock ticking that triggers this rethinking. Perhaps it's the feeling of a door closing on an option taken for granted until then. Be that as it may, I think it's normal an healthy to rethink from time to time.

For me, I never liked being around kids even when I was one and never, ever wanted to have anything to do with babies. Never enjoyed playing with dolls - boring. My favorite toys as a kid were my ranch set, my horse collection, and my guns. Other than that, I was busy reading and had a love/hate relationship with the local librarian - she loved that I read, hated that if seh tried to keep me confined to the kiddie book section I'd tell my mother and my mother would go down to the library and give her holy he** for censoring my reading.

Haha I really think the 'playing with horses and rejecting dolls' thing could be scientifically tested.

My best friend and I, we're both 20 years old, discuss having children all the time (more appropriately in my case, NOT having them). She never gets worked up about it, but I think she does try to 'show me the light'. Many people have this idea of bearing children so ingrained in their minds as a life milestone, like moving out or falling in love. She told me, "I think it's so weird that you don't want to have kids, I can't grasp that." I just laughed and told her I thought it was weird that anyone would WANT to have kids. I asked her out of curiosity what aspect of parenthood she was excited about...she said she looked forward to influencing them while she raised them, and also about the relationship she would have with them when they were older and moved out of the house.

I don't remember who posted this earlier but someone expressed thinking watching children carve pumpkins or play baseball games would be awful...I fully agree! Raising children, no offense to those who read who happen to have them, seems like a total bore to me. I have no patience and require a lot of 'me' time! The only aspects of having children that ever interested me were a) giving my child a beautiful name if I had a girl and b) seeing what my child would look like. Two completely selfish reasons that would be completely overshadowed by all the other aspects of raising children!

There was another woman who was speaking of her friends and family trying to 'show her the light' and questioned her fulfillment in life. Again, I agree with the fact that I can think of plenty of things that I will find fulfillment in...I'm majoring in Japanese, and would like to live in Japan for a few years before returning to Hawaii or California to start a career. I've always imagined myself traveling and living in different places, having different schedules and lifestyles. This is my dream and it simply would not be possible with children.

Anyway, my boyfriend of six years is also telling me to 'wait and see', which is true... maybe I'll change my mind. However I really don't think so, especially now that I'm seeing so many similarities between myself and the ladies posting here! He's on the fence about kids and I always tell him if he ever wants kids really bad he needs to find another girl! Sad but true.

Thanks for the responses, it was very interesting!

Ha ha, those are the only two reasons I would want to have kids too! Just thought that was funny.

You know - I think there is software out there that can realistically morph the characteristics of you and your spouse to give you an idea of what your child might look like.

I have no idea how expensive that would be.

Then you could name the little cyber-baby!

That would be awesome! I'll have to look into that.

I have a half korean friend who also has no desire to have children but is curious to see what his children would look like.
I used to joke with him that we should have a child together but give it up for adoption, and request that the new parents send us photos every now and then.

I guess we have a dark sense of humor (I would never really do that of course)