BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Atheist Raising Children as Atheists

This is posed to those of you who ARE atheists and have children.

Do you raise your children as practicing atheists?

Hi Stephanie.

What exactly is a practising atheist? If we define atheism as the lack of a god belief then how do we practise this. I do raise my children as atheists, but all that this means is I have chosen not to indoctrinate them. They, like everybody were born atheist and I have chosen not to introduce them to religion.

I think it probably means coming out in the open about being an atheist.

Living down her in the South (not called the "Bible belt" for no reason) - it is a little harder for kids to be open about being atheist, because there are 20 other kids in their class going "What do you mean there's no Jesus?"

Probably the difference between raising your child as an agnostic (leaving the option open as to whether there is a God or not) or an atheist (there is definitely no God).

I don't see the need for my children to be public about their non-beliefs. When asked maybe. They are not public about not believing in fairies or the Easter Bunny and I am not public about my non-belief in ghosts. Its like with god people expect the default to be belief and you must therefore proclaim non-belif. In fact the default is non-belief. The default is atheism.

I'm agnostic, my son seems to be that way, my dh is atheist. Religion just doesn't have a real role in our lives. I've essentially taught him to be respectful to others who do believe, but to hold true to his own values.

It can be hard, though -- he is in boy scouts, and technically, if they found out, they could kick him out. (I have redefined the term god, so that I can sign whatever while maintaining a clear conscience.) He gets a lot out of that program, and the troop is clueless that there can be such radically different viewpoints. DS is a really great kid, and in our first troop, when he was asked what it means to say "A Scout is Reverent" -- his response of respecting others and such was deemed fine. (Not sure in this troop what their response would be.)

Practicing? Atheism is a belief system rather than action-based. Evangelical atheism... hmm... Doesn't have a good ring to it.

As for sharing that fact with others -- I tend to assess it individually. Some people just really couldn't handle it (and generally, those aren't people I'm likely to be hangin' with anyway), and I keep my mouth shut. But overall, as long as I'm respectful of their beliefs, I have found that those I want to be friends with are respectful of mine. Not sure how much of that my ds has encountered, but he did have one scout try to convert him when he discovered that ds isn't Christian. That's since been dropped, though.

It is so hard for children to understand why other kids may criticize them for their beliefs. I think a child should be raised with the morals and beliefs of the parents. When the child grows up then he or she has the option of exploring and deciding for themselves what works for them. I think, in today's world, any organization, such as the Boy Scouts, should let the kids know that they have a right to their own belief system and should not force any one belief on the kids. Kids have enough problems in life in these times without being confused by being told they should believe something contrary to what their parents believe.

I believe morals are separate from religious belief. 'Morals' are ingrained so as to ensure survival of the species, I believe. Makes sense if you think about it. You can encourage good morals without also teaching religion.

I wouldn't want to 'teach' my children atheism.

I grew up being taught methodist christianity and felt guilty for years throughout my childhood for never fully buying it, never experiencing the 'weight lifted' or the 'light' that came with asking god into my heart (whatever that means), the list goes on.

One day I just gave up on it and instead of feeling failure or hopelessness I felt completely happy and free. The weight was lifted and I experienced the light.

What I'm trying to say is, to each his own. They may be your children but it is not to be forgotten that they are individuals. As much as I love my mother and think she did a great job raising me, I wish she would have had a different perspective on faith and beliefs. Instead of ever asking me what I believed or what my opinions on faith were, she forced me to wake up at an awful hour on Sundays for church.

Recently when I expressed my beliefs to her (without mentioning the term 'atheist' with her of course), she sighed and said she should have taken me to church more, as if it would have done anything!

I am not a parent and very likely will never be (I have no interest in having kids). I would keep in mind you can certainly express your beliefs to your children...but they will develop their own no matter what. My mom's friend is a devout Christian whereas her own mother is an atheist

I think you guys may have given me an article idea for the Spirituality site!

BTW Michelle, your photo is beautiful!

TO let you guys know how difficult it is down here in Georgia, my daughter's 4th grade teacher (who is one of the most fantastic teachers I have ever met.) Had the extracurricular reading group doing "The Golden Compass".

Like I said, this was not mainstream class, this was the bookclub - he had just about every parent, except me, calling the school demanding that he not teach that book because it was heretical.

My POV was - it was fiction, and kids at some point in their life are going to have their faith challenged - why not let them do so in a safe environment?

>I grew up being taught methodist christianity and felt guilty for years throughout my childhood for never fully buying it, never experiencing the 'weight lifted' or the 'light' that came with asking god into my heart (whatever that means), the list goes on.

I take the stance of, if a god did create us, then he/she/it created ME to not be able to "just take it on faith." So, I have my out there... ;-) That's what I use when Christians (it tends to be them who do this) ask me, "Don't you think you should believe, just in case?" How on earth can I believe something that I don't believe, just in case. I could ACT like I believe, but it wouldn't create belief.

>I believe morals are separate from religious belief.

They have to be. I was raised without religion, and feel confident that I have strong morals.

One thing to mention; although I raised my son without religion, we have studied religions a bit in our homeschool years ago. I think it is helpful when dealing with people, to have an understanding of their viewpoint. Makes communication easier.


>TO let you guys know how difficult it is down here in Georgia, my daughter's 4th grade teacher (who is one of the most fantastic teachers I have ever met.) Had the extracurricular reading group doing "The Golden Compass".

>Like I said, this was not mainstream class, this was the bookclub - he had just about every parent, except me, calling the school demanding that he not teach that book because it was heretical.

>My POV was - it was fiction, and kids at some point in their life are going to have their faith challenged - why not let them do so in a safe environment?


It's like the Harry Potter books -- which, as you know, turned an entire generation into devil worshipers. ;-) I haven't read the Golden Compass, but heard enough about it to have a general understanding. If the parents want to take education upon themselves, then they can say what should and should not be read for extracurricular activities...

It can be viewed as a great opening, even for theists, to generate discussion on their beliefs, on critical thinking (think for yourselves, radical concept that it is -- but then, they may prefer sheep). Besides, forbid the kid to read the book, and odds are high most will try to read it. (A few won't.)

Knee-jerk reflexes, I guess.