BellaOnline Forums Books and Music Jokes & Riddles KamiKazi Squirrels

OK - we don't have a strictly "Humor" forum, so I figure this is the closest thing we've got.

Several years ago, Parthena (who was Once Uopn a Time our Dreams editor) said shae had deer with a deathwish in her neighborhood - they totalled her car once, and caused other damge a second time.

Me? I got KamiKazi Squirrels!!!!
It ids like, now that school is back in - this is the chane to thin their numbers. It may be some sort of underhanded gang war where the Bushtails throw Poncho from the Stripetails into the deadly headlights.

Either that, or this is some strange,demented plan of theird to take over the world by causeing all of us drivers to go swerving madly and running into trees.

These squirrels are EVIL

The KamiKazi Squirrels are beginning to form alliances now.

At first I just used to be attaked 1 at a time, 1 or 2 time a day on Mt. Salem Circle.

Today I had one run out just as I pulled out of my driveway, another dash out and do the "go,no stay, no go, no stay" then dash back the same way he came just as I wounded the curve.

AND - they have started recruiting other animals. There was a turtle smack dab in the middle of the street. I had to stop and move him, because I just knew if I didn't someone else would drive along an squish him.

I don't know what's going to attack me tomorrow. KungFu bunnies?

OK - it is now obvious that there is a full-out turf war going on in my neighborhood; and all of us poor humans are just the innocent bystanders thst are going to get killed along the way.

KamiKazi Squirrel ran right out in front of me on the way to school this morning, I tried to swerve, ahd to serve back the pther way, and finally just STOPPED - and the little bugger just sat in the middle of the road staring at me, like "You lookin at me? You gonna do somthin?" Then he darts off finally.

Next I come upon my 3rd turtle of the week, thst must be rescued from the consrtuction trucks that would have turned them into mince meat on a plate. I think the turtles are the are the lookouts for the squirrels.

But now they have sunk to a new level of evilness. They have corrupted the poor little family of bunnies thst live in our brush by the woods. I think they mut have one member hostage, and so are being coerced into helping with this evil plan of killing off all humans. Because they get right up to the road like they are...just...about...to...cross...and never make it bever diving back into their burrough.

I'm scared to see what wildlife isgoing to be pressured into this turf war tomorrow.

Are the squirrels still in attack mode? They may look sweet and innocent...but those are the ones to watch out for.

I believe the KamiKaze Squirrels are re-grouping right now and revising their initial plan to take over the world.

Apparently their worst enemy has returned to the streets; the dreaded yellow SCHOOLBUS (dun-dun- DUN!)

I think there may be under-the-table talks going on about night attacks, though. There has been a preponderance of possums and raccoons in the area.

The night assault I have been dreading came to fruition last night.

At about 9:00 PM our entire neighborhood went black last night.

Apparently one of the KamiKazi Squirrels decided it would be a good idea to directly attack the insulation around the power transformer box.

Bzzzzt! Fried squirrel, no power. RIP

That's crazy! Do you think the squirrel blackout frightened the other non-fried squirrels away?

That's too funny!

We just have to worry about the large gang of white-tailed deer that have been tagging our yard and conducting a little late night breaking and entering activity on the garden shed and greenhouse (where we have tree and plant seedlings).

They are eating my tomatoes, some are still green so I'm sure they are having stomach problems. Serves them right.

I have a (pet) squirrel he/she comes on my porch every morning and eats peanut butter crackers from my hand, he/she lets me know its there by hang upside down on my window screen looking in my house.