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Does life change when your kids are over 18? #356344 11/26/07 10:16 PM
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bluewaves Offline OP
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I was so glad when my son turned 18 this year. It was a day I thought would be my big step into another phase of motherhood.

My daughter is 20 so I don't have anyone under 18 anymore.



What benefits did you notice as the youngest child reached 18?

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: bluewaves] #356349 11/26/07 10:55 PM
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"Rosie" Offline
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benefits??? I took on raising grandchildren


Rosie L
Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: "Rosie"] #356433 11/27/07 06:42 AM
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iwonder Offline
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didn't notice 18 at all. college graduation, yes. they are now the ones making life changing decisions. i'm sorry Rosie, wouldn't want to do that, would if I had to, but wouldn't want to. 18 just meant they could drive to canada and drink.

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: iwonder] #356466 11/27/07 12:46 PM
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My daughter turned 18 the same month she left for college. We were and are very close so it was very hard for me. We now live closer to where she is finishing up her degree and attend all her softball games where she plays for the college team.

I loved every minute of having her in my life and still do. She is now making her own decisions and I try to be more of a friend and only advise if asked. We still enjoy spending time together but it's more on an adult level, which is nice.

Rosie, I babysit for my husband's grand daughter. I don't envy you raising grandchildren. I'd to it too if I had to but I enjoy my freedom now!

I feel like I focused on raising my daughter when I needed to and enjoyed it but when she was ready to leave the nest, I was ready to let go and live my own life again.

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: joanj] #356477 11/27/07 01:55 PM
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Susan Helene Kramer Offline
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When my youngest of 5 turned 18 and went away to live on her own I took it as my cue to move from family to world service. I had just finished being a single mother for 14 years and right at that time met a man who also was into world service and we married a year later. Now we devote our free time to writings on consciousness and practical spirituality and help others as we can. This time of life is slower for us but fulfilling serving the greater needs. We would raise the grandkids if need be.

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: Susan Helene Kramer] #356490 11/27/07 02:49 PM
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Sue Early Childhood Offline
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My oldest is turning 18 in Feb. To tell you the truth, I will be sad because I don't like change, but he already has a lot of freedom which he took advantage of at first. He is now starting to come around to more of an adult level. We can have conversations without arguements.

I can't explain it, but he has matured quite a bit in the last few months. Unfortunately, his best friend's dad passed away about a month ago, and I think that may have had a huge impact on him.

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: Sue Early Childhood] #438358 07/25/08 10:34 PM
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lag60 Offline
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For me I would say life has changed. My daughter went out on her own and the house grew to quiet. My husband and I were so use to having her and her friends around. Then they all went out on their own it was actually to quiet to for us. But we got use to it.
My daughter and I are very close and I am very thankful for that. We take every other day.

Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: lag60] #438372 07/25/08 11:12 PM
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"Rosie" Offline
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I think the life changes come when they finally move out


Rosie L
Re: Does life change when your kids are over 18? [Re: "Rosie"] #441537 08/06/08 06:54 PM
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My ds isn't 18 yet -- got 1 1/2 yrs yet -- but our lives have been gradually changing anyway. He will be attending f/t college in the fall (less than a month! ack!) and that is a HUGE change for this formerly homeschooling mom. It was a transition, though -- he went pt to a charter the last two years, and spring semester pt to college, with very little homeschooling added on. But I am now going to be mostly out of the loop (he will be living at home, though) -- and I am at a weird place in my life where I am trying to figure out what to do with my life again. I don't want to go back to what I did years ago (programming -- would have to learn too much over, and really it was never a passion, just a job), but not sure what direction to move.

To add injury to insult, I hurt myself while taking him to a 3 week summer program, and am now in physical therapy. So all the things I had planned to do to get myself organized is delayed. (I was totally unable to do things -- even tie my shoes -- for a bit.)

I think some of the milestones that will make additional impacts are if/when he starts driving (he is not interested at the moment, despite being old enough), him graduating/getting a job, and moving out.

But even without those, I have felt a major shift in our lives already.



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