BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Pregnancy freaks me out

I asked my sister what it was like, knowing I can totally, 100% trust her to be honest with me. She said it really hurt to give birth (she was too late for an epidural too!), but that she really did forget exactly how it felt when it was over. She said all she could tell me was that it really hurt at the time!! So there must be SOME hormone that takes care of that -- makes sense, since Mother Nature would NEVER get anyone to reproduce otherwise!!

K

Kim Kenney
MNK Editor

Make sure youve not just got tokophobia! Look it up.
Pregnancy disgusts me but there are 100 other reasons I dont want kids. if this is your only reason it could be tokophobia.
Lise

Ha ha! I just had to comment on this. As a currently VERY pregnant woman - trust me - HE suffers just as much as I do. *laughing*

Mood swings? Yeah - he gets those.
Insomnia? Yep - he has that too. hehehehe
Leg cramps? Who do you think I smack in the head to wake up and rub my calve! :-D

So yeah - the baby might be in ME but he is every bit as pregnant as I am. *wink*

Angela <><

P.S. I whole heartedly agree with the comments about adoption. The current wait to adopt a newborn baby is over 6 years! Meanwhile we have babies being raised by children who are still dating around, exposing their children to very unstable situations, bad people, etc. I admire single mothers - IF you are in a good place to be so AND have provide your child with a strong family structure.

My mother was adopted at 3 days old and found her biological at 30 years old. Her adoption was a HUGE blessing. Huge. Her life would have been totally different...MY life would have been totally different. Her mother blessed us all when she made the choice to give my mother a true chance.

My 20th high school reunion took place last weekend. Months ago I had already decided to skip the it in favor of an out of state bike race. I live in the same town I grew up in, Los Alamos, NM.

Although I spent a lot more money to travel to and participate in the bike race than to stay home and attend the reunion, I am not the least bit sorry I made the choice I did. On the class web page, one classmate, B, who is seven months pregnant announced on the message board that she couldn't wait to show off her pregnant belly. A few other ladies said they were looking forward to seeing B's big belly. Gross!!!! Two other classmates who attended have new born babies. I don't mind people getting exciting around babies ( I don't at all). Still I am almost as glad I missed that spectacle in addition to the idiocy I described above with B's big belly.

To each his own/her own. I met my goal for the race of finishing in the top 10 (6th) out of 82 finishers in my age group . As you can see from the photos posted on the event website, it was a stellar day to ride up a 14,000 foot mountain.
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That's awesome, Mike_e. Sounds like you made the right choice. I,too have areunion coming up and have similar reasons for not wanting to attend.

lise- you made me laugh! I do love learning new words, so I looked it up right away & don't ya know the wikipedia had this gem on the tokophobia page:

Antinatalism

I thought "THAT'S IT!!!"

well, maybe a bit of both....is there a word for people who just think it's icky?

Hehe.. I've had an epidural birth and a natural birth, and I can tell you that so much of the fear and ick factor is from media images, not from real life.

I know it's hard to believe, but getting over the fear and "ick" factor of pregnancy and birth is a little like with sex. When I learned about that at age 9, I thought that sounded pretty gross and icky too!

I wouldn't let pregnancy/birth alone hold you back from having a child if that's what you want, for sure. But that certainly doesn't mean having children is for everyone. I love what Elizabeth Gilbert says in Eat, Pray, Love about having kids -- that it's like getting a tattoo on your face...that you'd better be sure!

Nicki

Hi Nicki! That's an interesting comparison. I've never heard it put that way, but it does make sense to me.

I always thought it was amazing- fascinating, even in high school sex ed class, when all the other girls were cringing, I was so amazed. I do understand how the entire idea of a body growing and moving inside of another human could be repulsive. I used to have a friend who would literally get a gag reflex every time he saw a pregnant belly. He described his perspective once and it even made me sick for a while. To each his own, I get it but I still think it's fascinating.

I feel you on this one. As a guy, I never thought that moms are attractive. To tell you the truth, as soon as I realize a good looking woman has kids I drop the fantasy right on the spot. This "MILF" thing is a mystery to me; I dont understand the phenomenon. HA.

I mean, why would I want to sleep with someone who has had there business stretched out? Thats not good. I know the female body is resilient but I could care less of finding out. I couldnt imagine holding my wife's hand in the delivery room with all the mess and the smells and the noises. Its' not for me and definitely not for my future wife.