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Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: marina123] #429647
06/24/08 12:21 AM
06/24/08 12:21 AM
Joined: May 2008
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Angel216 Offline
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Angel216  Offline
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ok dont laugh.. i've been single for less than 24 hours.. we broke up last night.. i'm not needy .. i just hate feeling alone. I think that is the worst feeling and pain next to sickness. the worst part is playing and replaying what was said over and over in your head. i get angry, i get sad, and i can't wait for this feeling to go away. then, reality hits you and you know it is for real. i'm not going to jump right into dating but alot of times that is just the distraction that i need to get my mind off of things. the worst thing you can possibly do is jump right into another relationship when you are still not over your last. you haven't gotten a chance to think about what you want and what you really don't want and you end up in another repeat relationship. single life isn't great to me, but it'll have to do for now.

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Angel216] #429760
06/24/08 01:36 PM
06/24/08 01:36 PM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 49
California, USA and Paris, Fra...
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Cy_Single_Life Offline OP
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Cy_Single_Life  Offline OP
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California, USA and Paris, Fra...
I think the best thing to do right now is to stay busy. Go out and volunteer, or take yourself on a little holiday. But what ever you do, get out of the house and do something positive. Something that will take your mind off of thinking about the current situation.


Christyann Anderson
Single Life Editor
Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Cy_Single_Life] #429762
06/24/08 01:49 PM
06/24/08 01:49 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Massachusetts
"Rosie" Offline
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"Rosie"  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Massachusetts
Hate being single, not me


Rosie L
Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Cy_Single_Life] #429763
06/24/08 01:50 PM
06/24/08 01:50 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Chelle - Marriage Editor Offline
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Can I answer this from the other side of the fence?

I'm on my 2nd marriage and have 3 kids (1 with Asperger's - my oldest).

There are times that I am very envious of the single life. I have so many people depending on me, it would be nice sometimes to be able to do things for me without having to pull out mjy little calendar book and having to cross-check 4 schedules; with mine normally coming in last.

I so want to go see the movie "The Happening" and nobody else in my family wants to see it, so I can't even justify a "date night" with my husband. If I were single I could go to a midnight showing by myself - and the only consequence would be - could I stay awake at work the next morning?

But, I know I am not a loner type person. So loneliness would definitely be the donwside. I think the "freedom" would wear off quickly for me - and I'd go searching for someone pretty soon.


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Chelle - Marriage Editor] #433812
07/08/08 01:01 PM
07/08/08 01:01 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 105
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Keaghry Offline
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Posts: 105
Yes, loneliness is the downside, and having to do everything yourself, no one to share life with. I have tried getting out there, and it just hasn't worked out for me, and all my friends are married, so of course they have a circle. Humans need affection and intimacy, and shared interests and all those things.

Yeah, I have it made all right, I just have no one : p Lucky isn't it.

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Keaghry] #433828
07/08/08 01:42 PM
07/08/08 01:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 970
Indiana
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Claybird Offline
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I've had it both ways several times and have been alone for nearly 4 years now. Believe me, I'd much rather be alone than in a sub-par relationship.

Let me tell you a story:
Last week I had a dream about my sweetie (we had been together for 17 years until he suddenly died) and woke up feeling so lonely and sorry for myself. I began wishing that I had someone in my life again to share laughs and gossip with. That very afternoon a strange car pulled into my driveway, it was a guy I used to date before I met my SO, and who I had blown off as soon as I met him. I hadn't seen this guy in 20 years or so, and time had not improved him. He stayed and stayed and I thought I'd never get rid of him. When he finally left I realized...Be Careful What You Wish For!

I like living alone (with 2 cats for company) I like eating what I want, when I want it. I like cleaning up after myself, or not. I like arranging things without having to get anybody else's OK. I like taking a trip if I want, to wherever I want, and never having to ask if it's all right, or having to stay home if Partner doesn't want to go.
So I have to do a lot for myself, well, what's wrong with that? I've learned a lot about home and car maintenance and that's a good thing. True, sometimes I come up against something that I simply don't have the physical strength to do, and have to beg a friend's help or hire somebody, but that's not too often.
One important thing is to develop a network of friends with whom you share interests by joining organizations that appeal to you and stepping up to help out. That takes care of a lot of the lonliness!

Living alone isn't for everyone, to be sure, but it is very possible to develop a full and happy life as a single. It takes work, but then so does a relationship!

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Claybird] #433980
07/09/08 12:40 AM
07/09/08 12:40 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
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Keaghry Offline
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Keaghry  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 105
I respect that, about the helping out, but I tried that, and it ended up in being used, and the situation was such a mess, my attempts to redirect things didn't work. Not to mention, you're just giving, you're not receiving affection or intimacy or anything else people need.

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Keaghry] #434244
07/09/08 11:13 PM
07/09/08 11:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 970
Indiana
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Claybird Offline
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Indiana
For me, helping out in groups was a more direct way to meet people and get to know them than just sitting in at some meetings. Of course, a newbie has to be sensitive to avoid stepping on toes on the one hand, and becoming a doormat on the other. And nobody says that you have to stick it out if you find that you just aren't a good fit with the group. Affection and intimacy take time to earn and you don't find them with everybody.
Good luck, I hope that you find what you need before long.

Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: Claybird] #434609
07/11/08 08:50 AM
07/11/08 08:50 AM
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Posts: 17
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1stclasscleaning Offline
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i hate being single when i see couple .


1STCLASSCLEANING
Re: When do you love/hate being single? [Re: 1stclasscleaning] #442381
08/09/08 04:43 PM
08/09/08 04:43 PM
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GirlGromit Offline
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I am single after 16 years of marriage. I have two children & a few very good friends. I've decided that I never want to be in a relationship again.

I cannot bear the thought of all the doubt and worry and jealousy connected with his secret relationships. I would never want to go through the anger and fights his unhappy, dsyfunctional personality created. I would never want to clean up after a man who treats me badly again.

I enjoy my time, my space. I love going out to a movie with the kids and coming home to unlock a door only I have a key to, lights off, my house as I left it.

I enjoy Saturday mornings before the kids wake up, my lounge pants on, freshly-made cappuccino in hand, reading or watching something from a list of TiVO'd programs that only I have created.

I enjoy jealousy and anger gone from my life. I love that decisions are mine alone, without negative consequences stemming from someone else's differing opinion.

I, too, have found out amazing things about myself... I put in my new dishwasher myself, with only one phone call to my brother for advice. I can move furniture, I can organize my finances, I can indulge in interesting hobbies, I am an amazing, involved mother to my girls.

I like myself this way. And if I'm only 38, and if there are lonely years ahead (especially after my girls are grown & gone), I will deal with them. I'll find a way to make this life good, and rich. I have decided to, and I can do whatever I make up my mind to do.

Last edited by GirlGromit; 08/09/08 04:45 PM.
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