BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Breastfeeding Cosleeping with your baby

Do you/did you bedshare with your breastfed baby? Share your thoughts, tips and stories here.

Check out my three recent cosleeping-related articles:
Cosleeping and Breastfeeding � A Family Choice
CoSleeping and Breastfeeding - Safety and Benefits
Arm's Reach Mini CoSleeper Review

Aw.... those were such sweet days! And did I ever sleep well

We had a king size bed and I slept in the middle. The side where my son slept had a railing that my hubby built to keep him from rolling off. When I got pregnant with my daughter we bought a twin bed and shoved it up next to our king. My son was two years and two months when she was born - and he weaned himself just before she was born. She would roll around between my bed and my son's twin LOL.

Literally the room was one giant bed HA HA!

We all slept great. Sure, there was the occasional foot or elbow in the face, but all in all I know I slept better than if I had to worry about what was going on with them so far away in their own room

I was always extraordinarliy paranoid about rolling over on my baby, so never slept well when we co-slept "traditionally. It was so bad that when I did finally fall asleep I would wake up in a panic screaming about the baby. My insomnia started then (16 yrs ago).

But then we found a baby bassinet that the side let down on and tucked under our mattress, so his bed was literally attached to ours. So it was like co-sleeping, but it took away that fear I had. All I had to do to nurse was pull him a little closer, then roll him back over gently when we were done. It also gave me a better place to change his diaper in the middle of the night.

Michelle,

Yes... cosleepers or sidecar bassinets can be great for that purpose. I wrote about the Arm's Reach Mini CoSleeper in my review, which is basically the same thing. We used it with my second daughter. I actually would have slept with her just in my bed, but we were putting her there for naps and she slept SO well there, we thought we shouldn't rock the boat...or the bed, I suppose. Plus, I'm a big swaddling fan (wrote an article and have a forum thread about that too) and somehow I was never comfortable with a swaddled baby in the bed with me. I think it was probably an irrational concern -- what's the difference really in terms of ability to "defend themselves" in bed between a swaddled newborn and an unswaddled newborn, but cosleeping certainly isn't going to help anyone sleep better if they are a nervous wreck about it!

That's exactly why I think it's important to recognize that there is no one "right way" to co-sleep, or that it has to be all-or-nothing -- there's lots of grey area, as long as safety is always kept in mind.

Nicki :-)

I'm kind of jealous! I always thought we'd cosleep more than we did.. and I think I slept a lot with my babies from about 4 to 8 months, but after that, somehow, nobody slept well, and they and we did much better with them in their crib for at least some of the night.

Now we are having a bit of a challenge with the 18 month old. I tend to stay awake WAY to late, so that I can feed her right before going to bed (usually around midnight or 1), then if I'm lucky, she'll go till about 4 or 5. My husband grabs her and plops her in bed with me, and until recently, she falls back asleep nursing and stays with us until we get up around 7. But lately, like last night, she'll come in bed at 4, and I half-sleepily realize at 4:45 or so she's still nursing and just going from one breast to the other and never really drifting back off...so she's not really sleeping and neither am I. So then hubby takes her back in her room on the balance ball and gets her back down, because goodness knows, it's not hunger anymore! So I think we are nearing the point of needing to nightwean if this continues -- she's almost capable of understanding from hubby that mommy is sleeping and they'll be more milk in the morning...I hope!

Nicki :-)

I couldn't have survived the newborn era with my second/third child without cosleeping! At one point with my first and second daughters I was nursing them BOTH during the night! Yikes! I would just roll around during the night to whomever needed me. My husband works nights, and well, frankly it didn't bother our sexlife one bit . I still cosleep with my son and my youngest daughter. I just sleep on the side closest to my son (my daughter does not night nurse) and keep that breast exposed and voila, I barely have to wake up to feed him!

With my second born she would wake if I ever tried to move her once she fell asleep. She's STILL like that. In two years we have NEVER been successful in moving her from car seat to bed without waking her.

Co-sleeping the first 6 months or so saved our sanity. She'd often start the night out in her bassinet but once she woke for her middle-of-the-night feeding it was just easier for ALL to keep her with us.

It's definately an issue that can create some strong feelings, but with the research on decreasing SIDS through co-sleeping, and greater awareness of how to co-sleep safely, I think more and more parents are doing so. Or at least ADMITTING it. :-)

Angela <><

Angela,

Interesting point... I've always thought that co-sleeping is one of those "dirty little secrets" of most mothers. Almost everyone is doing it, at least part of the night. But no one ever seems to want to talk about it. For nursing moms, I feel like co-sleeping, if it works for your and your baby, can be a total lifesaver! The more families that talk about it...the better. Did you hear an athlete (I'll have to look it up) got put on the injury roster recently because he reinjured his shoulder co-sleeping with his son and shifting him in the night. So cute when he talked about it in a magazine...

Nicki

I tell the parents in my childbirth classes that it doesn't matter what their grandmother's say....if co-sleeping gets them through that first six weeks of sleep-deprivation horror than that's just fine. I've had some tell me afterwards how relieved they were to hear me say that or how they remembered those words when they wondered if it was "ok".

I think what gets to me most is how much parents question and second guess everything they do. Co-sleep? Cry it out? Baby Wear? Strollers? So much pressure! Especially when you have to realize that not every way is going to be a perfect fit for every parent, situation and child.

I'm just glad that it's more "acceptable" now - the last thing a mother needs postpartum is to feel "guily" for snuggling her sweet baby to sleep in the middle of the night.

Angela <><