BellaOnline Forums Relationships Dating Rejection Hurts

This connects more to friendship in general, but I had two close friends shut me out when they hit rough patches in their lives and for a long time I was sure it was all my fault, because that was what I was used to thinking, and they weren't willing or able to admit otherwise initially. Because they were so close, I'm struggling with trust issues now, and both of them keep in touch, which is ironic : p I don't need or want to be open again, still processing.

Isn't it crazy that there are billions of people and it is so hard to find that perso that is "the one" for you. If there are so many fish in the see, how come there are so few people that are happy together and so many that are unhappy and lonely...

Keaghry, I had to learn the hard way that close friends are hard to come by and even harder to keep. Friendship is definitely a two-way street and is much more fragile than most people seem to think, which is probably why it is often taken for granted so easily.

I understand your reluctance to open up like that again though. I'm friendly with just about anybody, but trust isn't something I hand out freely anymore.

You ask a really good question, Angel216.

Personally, I think alot of it has to do with unrealistic expectations. People need to realize that there is no fairy tale, happily-ever-after hollywood ending in the real world.

Love is always easy and beautiful in the beginning but what really counts is the quality of love that remains once the novelty wears off.

I think people need to be more honest with themselves and their partners about whether or not the relationship is right for them. Sometimes people want to love and be loved so badly that they will try to force it even when they know they're doing so with the wrong person. I was guilty of that myself for many years but have since learned my lesson. I was always trying to blame my unhappiness on outside factors when I had the power to change it all along.

There would probably be a lot less loneliness in the world if more people figured out that the cure for it starts only from within.

You know, one of our other editors - Elle was talking about the "happily ever after" in the marriage forum, and she made the comment that she would rather NOT have the fairytale romance.

The reason? Because in order to get to that happily ever after, there is always some major crisis to go through first.

That's a good point! Also, I think it would be kind of boring if things were too perfect. A little speed bump in the road of romance every now and then sometimes helps to keep things interesting!

You catch what I couldn't find the words for, about friendly and trust. I am trying to make sense of getting such a precious gift and then losing it, but can see after some time spent gaining perspective, that it might just be it changed shape, not lost the connection. We do own the cure, but is a struggle sometimes to realize it.

I think those are good ideas, but am smart enough to know that before choosing to pursue, have to have resolved basically the things that I am working through. Right now I need space and to take care of myself, so that whatever direction I end up going in, it's with a clear head : )