BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Do Not Complain for 1 Month

I'm sorry to hear that Jilly....
It's a real bummer... I've searched the suttas and the teachings from top to bottom, and I can't find that bit about it being OK to kick the dog, or slap the OH up de head, during periods, anywhere....

Chin up honey.
I'm sorry if I hit a nerve...You know I would never do anything like that intentionally....
I have other comments I would add, but I don't want them to be mis-construed, and I'd like to be mindful of how I write and communicate - so please tell me when you feel happy to continue the discussion.
I really don't want to cause you emotional upset, truly I don't....
I'm just adding different perspectives as the discussion progresses....

With much metta XX

I did end up getting the "do not complain" book, so I'll read it and write it up!

Alexandra I am feeling better if you want to continue the discussion. Thank you for your kindness.

Lisa I will be excited to hear about the book. Maybe I should see if my library has it. what is the title?

The actual full title is

A Complaint Free World
Will Bowen

Also in "The Power of Now" that author talks explicitly about not complaining. He says by all means speak out for yourself! Speak up if you have poor service. But do not COMPLAIN about the poor service. Address the issue calmly and productively.

Speaking of which, I did get a response from Stoney's, the restaurant in DC where we had bad service and I wrote them a letter. They apologized for the problems we had and said they were taking steps to ensure the waiters were more attentive in the future. So I imagine that got better results overall for the restaurant than if we'd harassed the waiter

I finally tracked this thread down because I finished "Orderly Chaos" (a book on Buddhism) and this came to mind. I wanted to focus on this again. I do think I "complain" far less in general but it's always good to focus on it every once in a while! Also with my poison ivy I have been itchy and a bit grumpy. So it would be good to be more aware of that.

I already complained to Bob today because our washing machine has been broken for over 2 years and he still hasn't fixed it. Nearly every time we run it it beeps and beeps and we have to go restart it a bunch of times. It's like water torture. I want to just fix it or replace it or *something*. It bugs me that he hasn't done anything. It's in "his hands". Obviously just complaining isn't working . So I need to just do something myself.

OK I just talked with him and he says he'll get parts tomorrow. So progress. See, much better than complaining! .

So I'm starting from NOW. Interestingly we did this almost exactly five years ago - within only a few days - so it's a good five year cycle project to do!

I'm doing fairly well today. Yes, I did complain a few times. But I'm being more aware of when I'm doing it. And often I'm complaining about silly things. For example, I normally don't drink sparkling water. Bob brought me some home to test. I tried to open it carefully, but it bubbled over. I didn't bother to clear up the puddle because I was racing to get other things done. Then I went back into the kitchen and of course I stepped in the puddle with my sock . Clearly my own fault. And I complained about it! Silly me. Why should I be stressed about something like that? My energy is much more precious than that.

So I started fresh from that point So I think I've gone maybe ... one hour?

Starting fresh today. So far it's going well. Things are fairly quiet here, Bob is off playing golf, so it's me, the cat, and the parakeet. Laundry is running, dishwasher is running, Scooba is cleaning the kitchen floor, so lots getting done.

Bob just got home from golf, and already I've complained. Ah well, have to restart my no-complaining counter from now.

I feel instigated into it, but clearly I have control over my own brain .

I spent all day long quadruple tasking and doing laundry, washing dishes, washing the kitchen floor, scrubbing the kitchen to prepare for my juicing videos, plus doing all the newsletter work. And Bob was off playing golf all day.

So he comes in the door and I say "welcome home!"

And he grumps, "Jeez, that's not much of a welcome. You didn't come open the door for me."

At which point I got a bit cranky .

But after my brief crank, I pointed out how hard I'd been working and that all I wanted was for him to come home and appreciate my efforts, rather than complaining at me right away.

Starting a fresh day of no-complaining! Let's see if I can make it through just this one day . So far so good!