I definitely think there is a misleading perception of mens' and women's roles within Judaism and, perhaps, other religions as well. There is a strong movement of women's rights believers who think that women are getting slighted, are not being treated as equal.
My initial response to that is - if you want to wrap tefillin, go ahead - and get circumcised while you're at it. (j/k)
But, it's really much deeper. Fayge, I think that's what you were getting at. Men and women - in all aspects of life - have different roles. Even in homes where men and women decide to share responsibilities, the women is still - most often - the primary caregiver of the children. She is the one who has to miss work, arrange for sitters, etc.
In Judaism, as well, men and women are given different roles. On the very basic level, women are born with innate intuition and a deeper spiritual connection. The things men "have to do" assist them to create that same spiritual connection and to stay focused on that goal.
I recently discovered an organization called JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) www.jofa.org
I haven't had the opportunity to explore it or read their information yet but the jist is - advancing the role of women within halachic guidelines.
If that's the case, what's the argument? Well, what one person defines as 'halachically' acceptable is not agreed upon by others.
And, if we're arguing over the definition of the halachic guidelines, then how absolute can they be? Unfortunately, even among orthodox authorities, there are differences.
I agree with you, Fayge, I like staying home on Shabbos morning. I like sitting by MYSELF when I do go to shul (the women talk too much).... etc.