BellaOnline Forums Family Single Parents Prejudice and Discrimination

All of us are aware that prejudice and discrimination still exists in every part of our nation. Gender, religion, sexuality, race, ethnicity, culture, and even physical appearance are grounds for prejudice. Explaining this type of "hate" to our children is never easy. Helping them avoid their own prejudices - and dealing with ours - is even harder.

Check out my article at the Single Parents site on BellaOnline.com for an article on dealing with prejudice.

Cynthia,

A link to your article would make it easier to find.

Thanks ;-)

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

You hit on a topic that is plagueing my life these days.

I've been recently downsized from a job I held for 16 years
and am on the job hunt. At my last interview, I wanted to make sure I did "NOT" disclose that I was a single mom. And I did not want to disclose my hobbies. Why? I knew it would be a mark against my employment.

First of all, as a single mom, we might be looked at being unreliable. When our children are sick, we would most likely miss more work than those in a "two" parent setting. This makes me laugh. When I was married, "I" was the one who did it all. I was the one who took the kids to the doctor, the one who sat up with them all night while fever's raged (AND MADE IT TO WORK WITHOUT SLEEP THE NEXT DAY).. etc etc. You get the picture. As a married working mom, I had to be creative and learn to manage my time. I have project management skills under my belt that "NO MBA" or "PMI" certificate holding person could possibly get learning it at school. On the job training called life. I'm a single mom now... and I've had the opportunity to also incorporate financial planning into my life as well.

I did not lose my job because I was distracted by my personal life. I lost my job because business conditions and the economy forced me and others out.

And yet... for all my transferable skill sets. I can "NOT" tell anyone in an interview I am a single mother because I'm afraid it will be held against me.

Hobbies. The question came up in my last interview. Ha-ha-ha... HOBBIES..when you are a single mom. Oh come on. Who the heck has time for hobbies. My children are my life. I get home from work and run one to Softball practice, and I sit on the bench helping the other with homework. The next day it's running the other one to soccer practice. My kids are involved in sports year round. There is always something to do for parents in these organizations supporting their children. Is it wrong to say... "My children are my hobby?"

I have picked up a hobby of my own in the last few years. I ride a "Motorcycle"... aha...did ya automatically get a "stereotype" in your head when you read..."Motorcycle"???

NO.. I am not a "biker chick" or a "Biker mama" I am not a poster child for an "Easy Rider" movie. I am not involved in any club clicks or stereotypical biker clubs. All stereotypes.
A few years ago, a friend of mine took me for a ride on his bike through the local metro parks. I "LOVED" it...I felt free. I wanted to fly. All my stress rolled off my shoulders with every mile we left behind us. It wasn't long before I took a course and obtained my MSF. Yippeee...I could do it. Who knew. And further I found I had a knack for things mechanical. I started working on bikes and found it facinating. Again.. who knew? It tickled me to find something else I could do. I not only know how to cook, sew, crochet,needlepoint, and paint.... I can ride a motorcycle and by gosh fix the darn thing. Can I share my hobby with prospective employers????

NO.

Why??? because of the Stereotypes. Because I'm afraid that any prospective employer will hear this and chuck my resume in the bin as soon as I leave the interview.

Never mind that with my new hobby, I attend and participate in many worthwhile charities. We hold charity rides to collect for Cancer patients, Child abuse organizations, Breast Cancer awareness, Toys for Tots etc. Participating in all of these charities would normally be considered a "PLUS" but not if you do it sitting on a motorcycle.

So there's my 2 cents on the whole STEREOTYPE thing. I feel that I am villified because I'm a single mom. And further I am villified because I'm a Motorcycle enthusiast. Never mind that I am an intelligent, multi-talented, strong person in my own right.

And if you are a prospective employer reading this "blog" and want to hire someone who is a go getter, self starter, engergetic, creative, loyal and multi-talented in project management skills and planning... Hire a "Single Mom".

Hire me!!!

*clapping enthusiastically*

I so agree with you Am Z! There are too many stereotypes out there that are against women in general and single mothers specifically. For a long time employers have not wanted to hire women because they might have or already have children that will take their focus away from their jobs. Women are the original multi-taskers. We have been juggling family, children, work, and more for as long as time. We can handle the responsibilities of a job, too. It's about time credit was given where credit is due!

As for your hobbies, how about stating that you like to "watch sports, tutor school children, and work for various charities." NOne of those are lies and they refuse to allow room for negative stereotypes. So what is the sports and tutoring are with your own children and your charity work is on the back of a motorcycle. They don't need to know the details. (Basically that question is designed for an employer to see if you have a system in place for dealing with stress.)

I hope that you find a job soon that will showcase your many talents. I will be keeping my fingers crossed.