BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Need advise on something to care for

No, it's not fair, so maybe you can have one dog and hubby can have his starship computer room? <grin>

And, you can paint. I know it. I hereby give you permission to suck, too. I totally suck but it's fun. You might suck at first, but if you are like most creative types, your own opinion just doesn't count. If I listened to myself I'd never write a word, paint a (bad) painting, make a pair of earrings. So, I tell me to hush. You hush now & go paint.


With much love & lotsa {{{{Hugs}}}}

Jilly,

He gave you an ultimatum and now you have to decide whether to give him that kind of control. Does he use the computer for work or for play? If it is just play then tell him if your dogs go then his computer has to go.

How happy will you be if you have to lose the dogs? You said it yourself that you are

How happy will you be if you get rid of them because of an ultimatum. Is he serious about the ultimatum? Would he really leave you if you kept the dogs?

Oh Jilly, that sucks.

Two years ago, I would have told you that I am NOT a dog person. Two years ago, DH would have told you he hates cats. He especially hated my shy, whiny, scaredycat.

Now: We still have the cats, and DH prefers the crybaby because she will love on him, unlike The Mawster of The House who acts like *he* pays the mortgage. I have fallen head over heels with our two hounds, although I suspect that is Shiloh had been in the least difficult (he is typical cringing omega dog... he seeks reassurance when there is yelling of any kind) I would have been stand-offish and not suggested adopting Sadie. She is a handful, and if I had gotten her first... Hoo Boy.

Honestly, I don't know what to do about your situation. All I can say is good luck to you. I hope things work out.

We actually have to get rid of my chihuahua, an alpha personality, after I've had him from puppyhood eight years ago. he hates my little Frodo. He told me yesterday literally it's "him or me."

This is horrible! Why would you even consider getting another dog whether the poor thing doesn't "tick" Dan off or not? YOu have already gotten rid of one dog and plan on getting rid of the other. These poor animals have feelings and you can't just give animals a home and when your man doesn't like the dog you get rid of it. This is so horrible that if I didn't just rescue a dog a couple of months ago I would drive to you and take all your dogs so they don't have to been exposed to Dan anymore.

I cannot believe someone who claims to "love being in a pile of dogs" is treating them like they are disposable! I am so upset reading this I can barely type this response......

Hi Vance. The computer is really our sole source of income, so I don't have much say there.

He says I can have a dog, not this one, but something more submissive. Which is fine and dandy until he starts complaining about THAT dog, for whatever reason. They are dogs. They WILL do something to annoy him. But he promises he will be okay as long as it doesn't have the same problems as poor Frodo does with him.

Thanks for the support Jzel. That means a lot to me.

I can't find one thing to say that could possibly be supportive in getting rid of innocent dogs b/c some guy doesn't like them AND b/c he tells you that you have to. My relationship with my DH is based on a partnership and he would never assume to tell me I had to get rid of one of dogs. Not to mention, I could not be with some so cold and controlling.

I came here for support with an exceptionally difficult life decision. You are bingoing me. What I need is kind advice on what to do.

Maybe you can get that support from someone else. I find this very disturbing that you even consider this a "decision". You have had these babies for years and I don't think you realize what kind of mental hardship you will put on them. So, you go drop them off at a shelter or something? Those poor things don't and won't understand what has happened.

All I can say...don't get another dog hoping that Dan will like that one. This is cruel! He is right..YOU GUYS SHOULD BE DOGFREE! Dogs should be loved and cared for...not hated and disposeable.

Jilly,

If you are okay with getting rid of the alpha dog or dogs for a more submissive one and if that will keep peace in the family then by all means do that.

Obviously, your husband should be more important to you than a dog but I am having a hard time with the ultimatum part. If you are going to get rid of the dogs you have, will you try to find a home for them or will you have to give them to the Humane Society? If you have to give them to the Humane Society, then make him go with you to do it and have the people there tell your husband exactly what will happen to the dog if he doesn't get adopted soon.

Then if he still makes you get rid of the dog and you buy another one, a more submissive one, then have him go with you to pick it out so he can be in on the purchase and then he will have nothing to say about it later on if he decides he doesn't like it because you can tell him that he helped you pick it out and buy it.

You know what? Tell him if he wants you to get rid of the dogs, then he has to volunteer at the local animal shelter for at least a day or as many days as dogs you have to get rid of. He may not go for it but you can give him that ultimatum.

Tell him that it is the only fair way to do things. If he cannot volunteer at an animal shelter, then you cannot get rid of the dogs until he does.