BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids "Babies aren't cute"

Did anyone see the Seinfeld episode with the ugly baby? It was one of the best episodes - the doctor tells everyone that the baby is breathtaking while everyone who looks at the baby is awed by how ugly it is. Kramer was the best!

I think it's fair to say that for evolutionary reasons every mother tends to think her babies are "cute". Otherwise, few moms would probably survive the months of screaming and no sleep and other issues that come with a new baby. If new mothers really thought their new babies were gross, ugly, disgusting, etc. I imagine babies would not be cared for very well!

heehee, good point. It's not that i think babies are unattractive, per se (although some kind of ARE to be honest)....it's more like i don't see the attraction that everyone seems to feel.

and you are right, there is surely a genetic component to the phenom. So my genes are probably just missing that allele.

It doesn't bother me, either way. My DH is missing that allele also.

At least I like baby animals. I don't think he finds any younglings to be cute.

I know we've all heard the statement "a face only a mother could love!" I can find something sweet about pretty much any baby, but I'm not a big chin tickler and baby talker. I wonder at times if people who carry the compliments and baby talk to extremes are being phonies.

I'm sure some people are phonies. On the other hand, I think some people honestly like to just play with a baby for hours and hours.

Think of it as a form of peaceful meditation. It's like playing with a dog or a cat. The creature isn't going to yell at you, or judge you, or make fun of you. They will smile, and laugh, and give you 100% happy feedback for as long as you tickle their toes or such. That can be very satisfying if your real life is stressful and full of troubles.

On one hand I normally like my time spent more "engaged". I would rather read a good book than play with a dog or cat for hours on end, with just tickle - smile - tickle - smile. But on the other hand, if I was feeling stressed, and I really needed to just not think about anything at all and let the world go for a while, that is probably just about the perfect activity. You're getting positive feedback, you're engaged with another living creature, and you're focused on something so your other stresses are temporarily gone.

It's why all those studies show that having pets is such a powerful force in reducing stress In a way, a baby is like a pet that doesn't stay in that docile pet-stage for long

Not that I'm advocating having a baby so you can have a pet. But I'm saying that the baby-playing can have benefits for some and that they can honestly enjoy doing it.

Not to be completely mean, but when I see babies I compare them to aliens. I am repulsed by the looks of them (not to mention everything else). If I am shown pictures at work, I do not say anything when the person showing me them has a picture of a kid. I will, however, comment on other pictures whether they be scenic or actual grown up people. If they are all of kids, I generally make comments like, "So when was this?" And "hmm." Or "Was this at a birthday party?" I never comment on the kid itself as I would have nothing good to say. I'd rather say nothing at all instead of, "My God, woman, what is THAT?"

I totally agree. I don't find them the least bit attractive. All I can think about is the gross stuff that comes out of every oraface at any given moment. And then the constant crying & screaming & on & on. And then they grow up to be rebellious & ungrateful! At a previous job one of the owner's daughters had a baby & brought it in. I didn't get up from my chair because I had 0 interest. The woman who was working next to me was shocked! "Wow, you have no interest at all! I've never seen that in a woman before!" She was a very nice person & wasn't trying to be mean. She was just really shocked. I just said I really have no interest in babies & don't even want to be around them. I have two furkids the fulfill my life & have always had dogs. They are the my life.

Many women who say they love babies are rather shocked when they see those birth videos and realize what a baby actually looks like when it first comes out

Dognut - good for you for being yourself! I imagine MANY women feel like that, but they have to "fake it" so that they fit in with their expected role in life. Just like I know many women who hate cooking, but they do the cooking in their family because it's "expected" of the woman.

I think that you are spot on! Just be real. No reason to be mean or insulting, just be yourself and move on. I much prefer that over fake admiration and compliments.

On the other hand, I'm not one of those pushy moms that shoves my babies in everyone's face and lets them venture into adult territory where their presence is not appreciated. There is a happy medium between "seen but not heard" and unwelcome intrusion.

I agree with you completely, msbaby. Some new mothers are very inappropriate in how they handle their babies. They expect that every single female in their radius is an immediate "baby sitter" for when they want to take a break. They need to learn that they are the primary care person for their child and that they should *ask* (not demand) when they want some help.