BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What has happened to our forum?

I am so sad to see what is happening with our forum.

It now seems that those of us who are CF can no longer post our rants, opinions, etc. on a CF forum due to the fact that said rants, opinions, etc. may hurt a parent's feelings.

This forum is the only place that I can discuss my CF feelings with others, besides DH, who feel the same way. This forum is my refuge and haven from the kid-centric culture that surrounds me on a daily basis!

I am deeply saddened to see that our little "community" is being fractured.

ChattyCat - I apologize if you're confused. You are always welcome to post opinions. It was other MNK members who were offended by the rants with certain words. It was their complaints which has brought about the new rules.

The few ranters who used certain words were driving away many, many MNK individuals who wanted to participate in this forum.

I am very sorry that you feel the only way you can rant is by using words that offend others, and I am not sure what to answer you there.

As a mom with a ton of kids, I have to say I respect your right to vent. I pop in here from time to time because I see topics which interest me and I don't feel offended one bit by the things said here.

I think the rules are more set in place to discourage people (like me, with kids) from coming in and throwing insults at you for your opinions.

Live your life and keep being CF, don't let small minded chaild bearing folk get you down. Some of us respect you!

Manatee- I have not checked by PMs lately, but I will do that ASAP. Thanks for the heads up.

Julie- I really appreciate your open-mindedness! Thanks!

I know that the new rules were meant to discourage the use of certain offensive words. And I can totally respect those rules.

It just makes me sad that our forum seems to be falling apart.

I'm pretty new here, but was thrilled to find this place. It's like finding a safe haven in the middle of people who ridicule me and look down on me. This place is new to me but already so important. I'm deriving strenth from it! Part of that is just the ability to come here and vent. I don't want that to be threatened in any way...

ChattyCat - I think you have a very healthy view on this and I understand your concern. There was a shake-out like this a while back with similar results - a few people left, and the forum grew and thrived and became even better. So it is a growing pain we will go through, but once we get the new banners and other aspects in place, we will have a twofold benefit. We will have far fewer trolls and bingo people coming in here, so it will be far more relaxing to be here. And because we will not be using words that many find hostile, we will have far more posters, because all of the lurkers will finally feel comfortable enough to post and share.

We just need 2 or 3 weeks of calm and quiet, and the many watchers will start to feel comfortable and begin posting. Just look sometime at the 50+ "active watchers" in this forum - and how only 3 or 4 people are choosing to post. That is the dynamic that will change.

My response was written at the same time as Lisa's. I wasn't trying to disagree with her, just was letting you guys know that some of us do understand your frustration.(some of us breeders that come in, not anyone making rules)

Do you know how many times I have yelled or said something really offensive because one of my kids destroyed something I loved?

Ya know, you can always invent new ways to cuss. I do it all the time and not because of kids, because I like to make my friends laugh over it.

If you are worried about your forum falling apart, why not start a thread on books on living CF? Or something that will build a community feel. When things look as if they're falling apart, just pull out your mental duct tape.

Now, where the fook is my lighter?

I'm one of those lurkers who rarely posts anything. Since I often have the same opinions as other posters, I avoid being repetitive simply by not participating. I've never personally been bothered by the offensive terms, although I do see why it would offend some people.

I have to admit that I was one who left a while back when we were all told basically to calm down. I came back after realizing that some other child-free forums were very negative, even to fellow child-free people. I am fine with not using some words, although I do think it's ridiculous that parents who know they'll argue come on our forum anyway. My only concern is that I won't be able to show irritation anymore. This is the only place I come for child-free support. I completely agree with not cussing and all that (and yes, calling parents br**ders is negative), but I hope we can still talk about real problems without having to sensor everything for parents. I know if I went on a kid forum not only would I be uncomfortable and completely unwelcome, but I'd be attacked, and I'd have no business being on there unless I could talk in a civil manner, as some parents do on our forum. Hopefully this all works out!

ok so not to start a rant or anything but the new banners under every topic and the new rules where because CF people complained about some of the things said? not because parents was offended and complained? WOW that puts this whole thing into a new light! I thought there was a parent trolling and flaming the CF forum and we the CF people was getting the blame because the parent trolling complained!

Ok I will hold my peace now... No wonder I was getting the reactions I was getting! lol Sorry I miss understood!